What My Late ADHD Diagnosis Taught Me

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“The Tortoise and The Hare” is a classic parable I think we’ve all heard told at some point in our lives.  The race begins, and the rabbit is confident he will win the race against the slow turtle. He runs ahead and eventually decides he has time to take a quick nap. The turtle keeps on, slow but steady. Eventually, the turtle passes the rabbit and to the surprise of all, wins the race.

But is this really a surprise?

 

Back in My Day…

 

In today’s day and age, quick and convenient seem to be the way of life. So much change has happened even from when I was little. We now have phones that are essentially computers that we carry everywhere with us. I remember when I was younger that the only computer available was the clunky desktop computer, and if I wanted to use it, I would turn it on and go do something else because it would take about 10 minutes to start up!

 

A couple weeks ago, my 7-year-old daughter said to me “Mom, did you know that there used to be phones that had a curly string coming out of them?!” Imagine her surprise when I said “Yes…I used to use those phones when I was your age”.

 

I often crave this way of life…slower, more intentional, less distractions.

 

We have many distractions on our path of healing and spiritual growth. Everyday life can become a string of unconscious actions that we weave together. We’re moving so quickly through life that we can’t perceive the subtle energy shifts, the incompatibility, the discomfort.

 

When Life Forced Me to Slow Down

 

When my life slowed down earlier this year, both due to my own career change and then the loss of my husband’s job, I became acutely aware of one unconscious action in particular: eating out. I was putting my money into convenience food rather than saving the money by cooking at home. It was usually fast food, low in nutrition, and I felt that in my body after I ate it: slow and sluggish.

 

But this was just the tip of the iceberg, and I could feel a deeper wound beginning to surface. My justifications were many: I’m too tired to cook, it’s been a long week and we deserve a treat, the kids have activities and there’s no time to cook.

 

But necessity forced me to take a hard look at what lay beneath this pattern. With less income coming in, the change had to be made. But the truth is that any bad habit, when we stop without examining the root cause, can easily be replaced by another.

 

Eating out was one of the coping mechanisms I used to numb my emotions and fill an empty void within me. But where was it coming from??

 

My Late ADHD Diagnosis

 

One thing that was also going on at this time was that I was getting an ADHD evaluation for my daughter. As I was doing research, some light bulbs began to go off in my own head, and I realized that this all sounded very familiar. I was reading my own experience in the words before me.

 

In January I was diagnosed with ADHD. I am not saying this as an excuse for my behavior. What this diagnosis did was to help me understand myself more deeply. It helped me become more aware of habits that can come from ADHD, and to catch myself when I saw myself falling into them.

 

Because I was undiagnosed for so long, I had formed poor coping habits to adapt in a world that I didn’t always feel I fit into. Now that I had words for my experience, I could pause, become aware of my internal patterns, and begin forming new, healthier, and aligned habits that supported me.

 

There’s a lot of emotions that come with an ADHD diagnosis for most people I imagine. Especially when you have spent many years struggling in life and thinking something is wrong with you, wondering why you can’t just do things like other people. This was true for me as well. My late ADHD diagnosis helped me begin to recognize and process things in my life that were causing me a lot of pain and self-criticism.

 

The eating out was one of the ways I was easing the pain of feeling a bit lost in a world that I didn’t always fit into.

 

Emotional Healing and Learning to Go Within

 

It is important to honor the emotions that want to express through us. Our past holds an emotional charge, and as long as we stifle down these feelings, they will fill us up inside and allow little space for more resonant energies. We must clear the old before welcoming the new. Energetically, this is how we get locked into patterns, or eventually they reflect as health issues within our life.

 

So this is the direction I focused on for my healing. I did my best to go within…and when I had the urge to eat out, I would invite the emotion to the surface. I would call it forward, and be there for the part of me that felt isolated and left out and unsure of how I fit in society.

 

It was difficult…it was painful…it was embarrassing…it was uncomfortable…it was shameful…

 

But I was creating space within myself and carving out a new story. Because I knew that on the other side of this was greater love, acceptance, gratitude, and understanding.

 

It is now May, and I have not purchased takeout since January. To be honest, I don’t even crave it or miss it anymore. As painful as feeling our emotions can be, being caught in the repeating cycle of misaligned energy for so many years is even more painful.

 

When I would feel the pull to order takeout, this was always accompanied by a sensation of heaviness in my body, like I was being weighed down. I would feel a pulling in my chest to ease this heavy sensation. The habit would temporarily relieve the sensation, and then the cycle would begin anew. This is taxing to both body and Spirit.

 

Choosing the Tortoise Path

 

The story of the tortoise and the hare isn’t just about speed. What’s special about the turtle is that it’s ok to take your time, to take in the scenery as we go through life, because every moment of our lives is significant. Every step matters. Even the ones where we feel like we’re losing or not good enough. Life honors both equally.

 

Winning doesn’t mean finishing first. We only win or lose if we define success through comparison. It is hard changing careers mid-life, and sometimes I catch myself thinking “If only I had done this sooner.” But then again…who am I actually racing?

 

I recently went with my daughter on a field trip to the zoo, where she had done research on snapping turtles for a presentation. One of the facts she was especially excited to share was that turtles can breathe out of their butts.

 

I was genuinely surprised to learn this. It sounded so strange at first, especially since they clearly have nostrils. It made me think how life is not always what it seems on the surface, and in many ways our inner world is the same. What appears so simple from the outside often conceals deep complexities beneath.

 

For over twenty years I was locked in this pattern, trying the same fix and expecting different results, unwilling to see below the surface level. I didn’t open myself to understand what was driving it internally. The ADHD diagnosis was the catalyst for change for me, but we always have the choice. I could have easily continued to justify my behavior and used my ADHD as an excuse to continue the pattern. But I know from experience that although the pain would leave quickly, it was only temporary. That’s the hare’s path, and I knew it was time to choose the path of the tortoise.

 

The turtle directs us inward, so that step by step we may overcome any challenge in our life. Turtle also reminds us that the obvious way is not always the most efficient. Likewise, there is no such thing as being behind. Turtle reminds us that we are all exactly where we need to be in this very moment in time.

 

Within five short months this craving was completely gone from my life. When we slow down and go within rather than push through or numb the pain, we actually move through things faster. It becomes as though we have found a wormhole in the great matrix of life.

 

So I invite you to slow down, pause, and journey below the surface. Embrace your emotions and open yourself up to life’s possibilities. Trust that the universe will bring you what you need even if you can’t quite see the finish line. Because our Spirit Within is always patiently waiting for us to slow down and listen.

Much love and many blessings,

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The Hollow Bone

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What does it mean to be a hollow bone? This term is often associated with Shamanic traditions, particularly Native American teachings, and describes how a healer must refine themselves and dissolve the ego in order to become a clear channel through which Spirit can move.

 

But for me, this concept extends beyond the role of the healer. We all hold space in the world, and we all bring our own unique gifts and healing medicine, whether it be through working with people, animals, plants, technology, finance, to name a few. We also bring this through our everyday interactions with friends, loved ones, and strangers. There are endless ways that each of us serves humanity.

 

What does it truly mean to hollow oneself, and what does the journey to doing so look like in our life?

 

In today’s sharing, I want to explore my thoughts on these questions and also share why I believe the journey to becoming a hollow bone is a path for everyone, not just those in a healing role.

 

The Earth as a Mirror

 

When I tune into this question, the image of the Grand Canyon forms in my mind. Carving something out takes time. This majestic rock formation was uplifted through the shifting of the Earth and then slowly carved out by the Colorado River, revealing all the layers of accumulation built over millions of years.

 

The formation process of the Grand Canyon mirrors the same journey every soul takes. There eventually comes a day when our existence as we once knew it is disrupted and we are lifted up, this higher altitude offering a new view of our surroundings. A glitch in our everyday reality breaks the hypnotic monotony of our daily routines.

 

Maybe this arrives through an illness, a near death experience, a drastic life change, or another event that shakes us awake. The moment itself is unique for everyone, but the outcome for all is the same. The pressure of the experience lifts us up and we suddenly perceive something beyond what our logical mind can fully understand. Curiosity and intrigue arise, and we feel a stirring in our hearts. Often called spiritual awakening, this is when the search begins. The search for truth and deeper meaning in our lives… the search for self.

 

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life?

 

This is often when a person begins their healing journey because the search for truth and healing is really one and the same. This is how we hollow ourselves out. We cannot get to the core of who we are without first extracting and examining what lies within. Just as the river washed away the contents of the stone to create the Grand Canyon, we too must breach the surface so that we may reveal all the layers of our own beautiful creation story.

 

Filling Up to Empty Out

 

Once we are lifted up and answer the calling of our heart, it is as though we step into the great mystery of life. We see a flicker of light in the darkness and wonder from where does this light come from? Like the river flowing through the canyon, this acceptance opens the gate for loving and supportive energies to flow through us, guiding us along our path. The journey of healing becomes a journey of revelation as we seek to fully understand and uncover the source of this current.

 

The stirring in my own heart came when I said yes to Shamanic training. I accepted my fate and dove head first into my healing path. When I first heard the term “the hollow bone”, it felt very mysterious and somewhat abstract to me.

 

The society we live in often views the mind as a higher authority than the heart. As such, we tend to seek solutions through doing, fixing, and thinking. Like many others beginning a healing path, I believed this meant filling up with knowledge and skills. I told myself that if I read enough books and learned enough techniques, I could push out old stories, heal myself, and be equipped to help others heal.

 

We must surrender to the current and allow it to carry us where it will. Every part of the process is valid and necessary to deepen our awareness and unveil the mystery in its own way, in its own time. Eventually we learn that a bone is not hollowed by displacing its interior with external matter. It must be carved out from within.

 

Seeking external knowledge, there is nothing wrong with this. It has played a vital role on my own path and I place great value on it. But we seek because we feel something is missing from our lives. What is missing is the connection with our inner light, our Spirit Within. We see this light as something outside of us, and this search for knowledge mirrors the deep wound of separation we feel within ourselves.

 

We try to hollow out the bone by displacing its interior with external matter, just as we try to heal ourselves by filling the void with knowledge and skills.

 

But the canyon was not carved by force. It was carved by surrendering to the water, allowing the river to flow along its natural path. The same is true for our healing. It is not found outside of ourselves. It is a surrendering within. To do so, we must shift from mind to heart, for this is where our inner light resides. Thus begins the next pivotal moment of our awakening process: surrendering to the flow and allowing mind, body, and heart to connect as one.

 

Emptying Out to Fill Up

 

One of the very first books I read on my own healing path was How to Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I read the book eagerly, taking in every word. For those of you unfamiliar, her teachings are all about cultivating self-love. A little over three years later, I found myself feeling called to this book once again, and I was curious why. This work was already “done”, so why would I need to revisit this?

 

Before I share the answer, I want to take a moment to talk about pain. We all carry pain. These are our own unique past wounds and traumas. As humans, we are hardwired to avoid pain. Most people would not willingly stick their hand in a fire and hold it there. Our painful parts are like fire, and when we begin to get close to them, we do all sorts of things to avoid them: distraction, denial, projecting our pain onto others, and even self-sabotage.

 

But the reality is that we must pass through each fire, each wound, each emotion, one by one. We do this by coming face to face with what hurts and bearing witness to all of the layers of pain we carry within us. We allow them to course through our body like a river carving through rock, slowly softening the hardened edges of our being. As we empty out, we create space, allowing our inner light to fill up and take its place.

 

This is the true hollowing of the bone.

 

I soon realized why I was being called to revisit this book. There was a lot of pain in my own childhood, many ways in which I felt unloved and neglected. I could now clearly see how I had been running from the fire. I had checked self-love off as “done” and never looked back. Outwardly, I was loving myself by aligning external aspects of my life with my dreams and goals. But inwardly… I had been neglecting this. There was a disconnect between my outer world and my inner world.

 

This moment called me to come face to face with my inner pain and acknowledge the ways I had been neglecting myself through my words, thoughts, and feelings. I speak more about moving through this in my last blog, and I invite you to read about it HERE.

 

We must feel to heal, and to do this, we must venture within. We must move toward the fire, not away from it. I think this is often why some on a healing path, myself included, can work so hard on healing, change so much in their outer life, yet still feel stuck or unfulfilled.

 

Embrace The Space

 

During my training, I was always told that the healer does not do the healing. We hold space for the client to release. At the time, I did not fully understand what this meant, but now, at my current level of awareness, I see it more clearly.

 

So often the world is filled with chaos, judgment, loneliness, fear, grief, shame, embarrassment, and so much more. It is a kaleidoscope of heavy emotions, and although they can be painful, emotions are also the language of the soul. This is often why clients seek healing. Their soul is crying out, and they are unsure how to move through or even sometimes name what they are feeling.

 

In our current times, we are rarely taught how to turn inward and connect with ourselves as many ancient cultures once did. And so, as healers, we serve as a bridge and a guide, helping others move through this moment in their healing journey while offering tools to support them as they continue forward. But we cannot truly hold space for others if we have not first created space within ourselves.

 

The space we create within ourselves serves two purposes. Firstly, these heavy emotions the client carries need a safe place to land. If we are filled up with our own pain, where will they have room to rest their troubles? We do not take on this energy. Rather, we serve as a bridge between the client and Spirit, with the assistance of our Spirit Guides, helping to filter out what they are ready to release. If a vacuum cleaner is full, it cannot properly clean the carpet.

 

Secondly, with space comes greater clarity and connection to our inner wisdom. When we turn our back on our own pain, we muddy the waters. The guidance that comes through, though well-intentioned, must first pass through a debris field of sorts before being shared with the client. As a result, the message may not reach the client in its original form.

 

To dedicate oneself to becoming a hollow bone is a commitment first and foremost to self. Whether you are a healer or not, you take up space in this world, and there are others waiting for the light you carry to enter their lives and change the course of theirs.

 

It is my belief that we are never truly “done” with our healing. If we are alive here on Earth, there is always more work to be done. When we say we are done, we stifle our own light. How can we possibly place limits on something as infinite as a Soul?

 

We must not fear the fire. We must allow our feelings, no matter how painful, to pass through and carve out our bone, much like the rivers of old carving the Grand Canyon. As we do this, we become better at speaking without projecting, listening without judgment, and viewing fellow travelers with compassion and understanding.

 

To love humanity, we must love all parts of humanity. To love all parts of humanity, we must love all parts of ourselves.

 

So keep healing and keep going within. Because we can always love more deeply and open our hearts more fully. Perhaps one day your unique spark will be the very light someone sees to lift them out of the darkness.

 

Blessings on your path,

 

Let’s Journey Together

1. Healing is a journey we don’t have to walk alone. If you feel called to explore your own path more deeply, I offer personalized sessions to help guide and support you. Learn more about healing services HERE.

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When the Shadow Meets the Light

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Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Nothing is certain, and change is the most constant thing in our lives, because truly nothing ever stays the same. We are not the same person today as we were yesterday, nor will we be tomorrow.

The last two months have been a time of deep healing for me. Truthfully, much of my life has been spent trying my hardest to avoid change, both in my external landscape and in my internal environment.

Today I want to write about the changes I have been going through on my own healing path the last couple of months. It is a unique dynamic, this interconnectedness between internal and external change. They swim hand in hand through this journey we call life, and when there is tension between them, life becomes tricky, difficult, and strenuous. Like swimming against the current and not seeming to get anywhere.

I recall a time in my late teens at the beach while visiting a friend. The waves were large, and I was maneuvering in the water as they pounded toward the shore one after another. To swim directly into the force of the wave was a losing battle. I kept finding myself caught in the current with no solid footing, swept up and propelled toward the shore beneath the white caps of the wave’s crest. Eventually, I felt the pull of the wave, beckoning me to move in rhythm with it. I planted my feet in the sandy ground at the trough of the wave. As the wave rolled toward me, I would jump in tandem with its incline, my body gently gliding up to meet the peak, then sliding down the back slope of the wave, cradled once again in the shallow valley, feet planted in the sand once more, waiting for the next wave to arrive. We moved in unison, me and the water. No fight, no force, just natural harmony. I stayed in that rhythm for some time, until cold and time told me this was enough.

Through this experience, the ocean was teaching me about trust and flow amidst chaos. The universe has our back, holding us safely through times of transition, both in our lives and in our hearts along our healing path. I have heard this truth many times, but hearing this wisdom is different than feeling the truth of something within our bones.

In November of 2025 I left my job as an Oncology Nurse. This had been my profession for the past 18 years. You can read more details about some fears I had to overcome before taking this leap in my blog post HERE. In my mind, I had created the perfect plan with a clear easy shot forward. My husband had a secure job at John Deere where he has worked for the last almost 13 years and he would support my and our family as I build my business.

Then December 2nd arrived, and my well laid plan came crumbling to the ground. My husband had a meeting with his boss that day and they informed him that he was being laid off from his job. I also share more about this here in this blog post, I won’t rehash the details as I share this part of my story in this blog post HERE. What I want to share in this blog is not the event themselves, but the inner experience that transpired as I moved through this process and what it taught me.

 

Stop, Look & Listen

 

When a train is moving at high speed, there’s a certain momentum that builds, and it takes time to come to a complete stop. Moments of high stress or fear, such as times of change, can set our reactive nature in motion like a high-speed train.

What is our reactive nature? It is our fear response, our fight, flight, or freeze instinct. Our nervous system is triggered in some way, and we have certain habits, thoughts, and emotions that begin to surface. When past wounds and old traumas are still lingering in the shadows of our being, moments like this call them forward.

We often find ourselves stuck in this cycle of change, reactivity, and then trying to push through, avoid, or fix what is happening. We see change as the enemy that must be defeated. We fight the change, and this keeps us locked in pain and suffering.

When my husband told me about losing his job, my reactive nature kicked in full gear. I was crying, upset, thinking the worst, both about our situation and also about myself. Especially about myself. My thoughts quickly spiraled into old, familiar narratives: “I’m not good enough”, “what do I really have to offer to the world”, “who will want me”, “this job won’t be able to support me”.

In this moment, I believed all of this to be true. The world around me was certainly supporting these beliefs, of course it must be true.

One week fell into another, and then another. My whole family got sick at Christmas time, which forced me to slow down. It was exactly what I needed to bring my speeding train to a halt. Life was swooping in to support me when I was having trouble supporting myself.

I began to question those thoughts that were cycling in my mind. What if I saw this change in my life as a partner on my healing path instead of the enemy? How could I glide through change, like rolling with the waves of the ocean, instead of fighting the current when life shifts?

Change can be the guide. Our reaction is the map. And a map is only useful if we take the time to study it.

When we slow down and observe our thoughts and feelings, when we hold space for our emotions and listen for our soul’s wisdom, we begin to cut through the fear. As we soften, small cracks begin to form, allowing the deep wounds we have held in the shadows to step into the light. And from there, healing and transformation begins.

 

The Voice From The Depths

 

I can always tell when I am on the verge of a big shift on my healing path. When we answer the call to change the direction of our lives in a way that aligns with our Spirit rather than fear, as I did when I left my nursing job, our energy begins to shift. It becomes lighter, and certain things of a lower frequency just cannot come with us. They are no longer in alignment with our new energy and must fall away.

Have you ever had a moment when your back is turned and you feel like someone is watching you? You cannot see them, but you sense their gaze. You feel the presence of their energy taking up space in the room. This feeling is accompanied by a sort of pressure, as if I were trying to force a beachball beneath the surface of the water.

This is how it feels for me when something I’ve been holding beneath the surface can no longer be ignored and is ready to fall away. The truth is, I sensed its presence long before my husband lost his job. Even though I could feel it calling to me, I started the train and didn’t look back. Humans don’t like discomfort. We tend to avoid it, sometimes on purpose, more often unconsciously, as I did in these last few months. I thought that if I just got to work, followed my new job tasks day by day, things would proceed at a steady incline and all would be well.

But now, in this moment of forced slow down, I knew I had to face this wound. I set aside time and marked it on my calendar. I would shamanic journey in quiet silence, in darkness, and connect with these painful feelings as they emerged. For me, there’s something about doing this in a darkened room that helps me feel safe. It creates a sort of cocoon, a blanket, making it easier for me to open up to this process of release.

So here I was, my drum, my body, my Spirit, my pain, and the darkness, merging as one. As I settled into the steady beat of the drum, I could feel the sadness begin to stir in the pit of my stomach. There was a familiar tightness clenching the muscles in my abdomen, constricting its way up to my throat. And then the tears came, the flow of healing water streaming down my cheeks. I began to cry out, my voice cracking through the fear and the tight grip it held. It felt almost like a snap, like pulling a string with so much force that it finally breaks. The crack had appeared, and it was then that the message from my inner voice rose from the depths of my pain:

 

“My fear is that I have been left behind so many times in my life that the world has forgotten about me and I won’t be supported or taken care of”

 

This is the wound, and I felt it in every part of my body. I had to allow this part of me to fully express itself. I felt the pain of all the times I was left behind: dropped off at a stranger’s house while my mom was giving birth to my brother; countless childhood summers left with my grandparents for long stretches of time; sent alone to live with my mom’s friend to finish out seventh grade while my family moved out of state; left with my sister while my mom moved to her boyfriend’s house in a different town; arriving home from a study abroad program to find no one at the airport waiting for me; graduating from high school and finding my mom gone, leaving me alone at the post-ceremony celebration; and being dropped off at college, watching all the other students’ parents stay to settle them in while I was left alone.

 

The Light From Within The Shadows

 

I have spent so much of my life navigating the waters of life alone that I didn’t realize there was another way. I was so locked into the cycle of trying to feel safe within the world around me that I believed fighting against the current was simply how life worked. I thought tightening my grip and trying to control every possible outcome was the only way to survive. It never occurred to me that safety might not come from force, but from surrender. This recent healing moment along my path showed me that there is another way to move through life, one that requires me to follow its rhythm rather than resist it, the way I once moved with the waves at the beach.

On the other side of this healing, my body felt lighter in a way I cannot fully explain. The constant undercurrent of worry and anxiety about the future had nearly vanished. I could feel the muscles in my body soften, and my mind felt clear. I was no longer scrambling to try and fix my situation. Within the shadow of this wound lived control, confusion, and constriction. Yet within the light that was now emerging in its place, I could feel something entirely different: strength without control, clarity without needing certainty, and patience that is not attached to the outcome.

I remember one particular moment in the height of my sadness. I sat in the bottom of the shower crying, feeling hopeless and afraid of the future. It was in that moment that an image appeared in my mind’s eye, almost like a scene from a movie playing out. I saw my husband losing his job. But what startled me was not the image itself, but the sudden recognition that I had seen this before. It felt like déjà vu washing over me. Then I sensed the presence of my Spirit Guide and heard the quiet inner knowing: “You knew this moment would come. We showed you this months ago.”

This process was bringing me into sync with the changes in my outer world and the shifts within my inner world. As the outer world changes, our inner world responds. And in turn, as we change our inner world, our outer experience begins to shift to match it. As we heal and connect more deeply with our Spirit Within, our life and everything in it syncs at a higher frequency. It is the alchemical process of turning metal into gold…shadow into light, wound into wisdom, pain into purpose.

Now in retrospect, I can see clearly that this is how my path was meant to unfold. If my husband had lost his job before I left my nursing career, fear would have kept me stuck and wandering far from my path. The shift did not come from circumstances changing. It came from my relationship to them changing.

 

Tending the New Light

 

In the early days of my first shamanic training, after receiving the Munay Ki rites, we were asked to go to a candle and feed the newly shifted energy with light. I used to wonder about the purpose of this. Does it even matter? Now I understand the importance of that seemingly small step.

When we shift from shadow to light, from low frequency to high frequency through healing, it is new to our body. There are still echoes of the past remaining. Old habits built over many years do not disappear overnight. The echo lingers. This is why we must feed the new light within us, to stoke the fire we have just started. If we do not tend to it, it risks fizzling out and we may return to our old ways. We would have to restart the fire.

This phase of the healing cycle in energy work is often called the integration period. We integrate by showing ourselves love, attention, and care as we continue on our healing path. There are many ways to do this: meditation, writing, time in nature, music, art, hobbies, affirmations, resting, eating well, and so many other ways.

After this healing, I understood what my Spirit was asking of me in order to integrate this new light. I had made so much progress in making better choices and putting myself first, but what was missing was self-love at a deeper level. The love I feel for my children, I cannot say I felt that for myself. I had been leaving myself behind in this one important way. I was taking loving action and making loving choices, but I was not loving myself with my heart. I was waiting for all the outside changes I had made in my life to fill the void within me.

The very first book I read when I began my shamanic training and healing path back in 2022 was You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Her message is simple: love yourself first, and healing will follow. So simple, yet one of the most difficult things for many of us to do.

So here I am again, back at the beginning. It is funny how life works sometimes. But this time I am not just reading the words on the page. I am reading the book with my heart, and I am doing the work. For real this time. I am ready. All of the changes leading up to now have prepared the ground for me to love myself. I am lovingly brushing my hair in the evening as I tell myself how loved I am, that I am enough, that I am valued. I am taking time to express gratitude for all the good things in my life, those that are here and those that have yet to appear. I am thankful because I know in my heart that I am supported. The world has not left me behind, and neither will I. I am beginning to feel it, that spark in my chest that lights up the same way it does for my children.

I have always wondered, where do the waves go once they reach the shore? It feels like nature’s magic trick, watching them curl as they reach the shallow waters, crash onto the sand, then slowly recede until they disappear. I suppose they retreat back into themselves, back into the vast ocean, merging again as one.

Perhaps that is our own journey here on earth. Separate waves moving toward the shore, and at the end merging back into oneness, leaving only faint remnants of our time etched in the sand. But even those fade…for in this world, nothing can be said to be certain.

Know that you are loved and you are enough. Wishing you strength and courage on your healing path.

 

All my love,

 

Ways to Connect

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  2. You can also join me on YouTube, @wisdombycandlelight, where I share videos with insights from my healing journey. If you enjoyed this post, you may like this months video, A Message for Times of Change, which you can watch HERE.
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  4. If you are seeking one-to-one support on your healing path, I’d love to walk alongside you. You can learn more about my shamanic healing sessions HERE.
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My Cup Runneth Over

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Over-giving can leave us exhausted and disconnected. In this personal story, I share a moment that stands out among many over the years when I struggled with giving too much of myself. Over time, I’ve learned that true connection and self-love begin with filling my own cup.

 

It was the beginning of my third year of nursing school. I had a core group of friends that I spent time with. They were social, outgoing, and liked to party. Honestly, they were everything I was not. I hated large gatherings, I didn’t enjoy drinking, and I didn’t like late nights. I always felt out of place around them, like I was trying to fit myself into a mold that wasn’t quite meant for me. It was always me reaching out to make plans, and that effort was rarely reciprocated. I imagine that if I had left that circle altogether, my phone might never have rung, and one day they would think to themselves, “I wonder what happened to that Cassie girl?”

 

But the fear of searching for new friends felt even scarier than the pain of spending time with people I didn’t fully connect with. Looking back, I recognize how deeply my sense of self-worth was eroded, and how I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I felt terribly lonely almost all the time. The thought “why does no one like me” dominated my inner world.

Me in my college years, before I understood what it meant to fill my own cup.

Physically, this took a toll on my body as well. I never linked the two back then, but now I understand the mind-body-spirit connection more clearly. The constant fatigue, the sensation of heaviness that felt like lead weights, the brain fog and forgetfulness were manifestations of everything I was holding onto. The pain, the trauma, the unprocessed energy, all living in my body with no awareness of how to recognize it, or how to let it go. My body was trying to send me signals.

 

My outside world reflected my inner world: disconnected. When pain is so great, we often retreat and avoid. Focusing on our external environment can be a form of disconnect, a way to avoid what we don’t want to see or feel inside. We engage in a battle to fix the world around us, believing that this is the way to find peace and happiness.

 

Even though I often felt unseen and disconnected, I kept reaching out to the same friends, hoping that with each failed attempt at connection, the next one would be different. When September arrived and I was turning 21, I decided to host a sit-down dinner party at my friends’ apartment. I wanted to set the stage for a special evening, a fancy, intimate dinner where we could dress up and connect in a way that went beyond our usual superficial hangouts. I even had a dress of my own design, sewn by my mom, for the occasion. I told my friends not to worry about the food. I would cook it, plan the menu, and buy all the ingredients.

 

I was going to make it really easy for them to love me. All they had to do was show up and spend time with me. Surely this would be enough? I would be enough…

 

Very soon, both my carefully laid plan and my heart were crushed. They decided they wanted it to be a “two for one” sort of party. It was the start of the school year, and they wanted a big celebration to ring it in. “You don’t mind, right Cassie?”

 

Of course not. How could I say no? At that time, I wasn’t capable of saying no. Saying no felt like giving them permission not to love me. Saying no created distance, and I feared it would make people leave and stop talking to me. And who would I have if I didn’t have them in my life? I would have no one. As alone as I felt, I feared that refusing them would leave me feeling even more isolated.

 

The party was nothing like I had imagined. Dinner was rushed, more of a grab-and-go affair. Once they were done, they went off to get ready for the next gathering. There was no bonding, no well wishes, no real connection.

 

Despite all this, I kept giving of myself, hoping that one day they would see me, recognize me, and care for me in return. I cleaned their house when I visited, took on the role of designated driver on nights out, cooked meals, and helped them pack and move when they relocated.

Recognizing When You’ve Hit an Emotional or Physical Wall

Writing about this still brings up a lot of emotions. I see so clearly a young woman who was simply searching for love. But I was going about it all the wrong way. There was an inner wound that I did not, and probably could not at the time, see or recognize.

 

Looking back, I do not blame my friends for how things unfolded. They were not responsible for my choices or the hurt I experienced. I was the one trying to fill the emptiness inside myself, and I was the one who believed that giving more of myself would earn the love and connection I craved. I imagine that if they reflected on that same moment, they would see it very differently, through the lens of their own wounds, growth, and journey of healing.

 

Past wounds and trauma leave a mark on us. We lose a part of our true essence, the connection to our Spirit Within, as life’s struggles begin to accumulate and weigh on us. In Shamanic terminology, this is called Soul Loss, which I explore in more detail in another blog post HERE. Soul loss leaves a void within us that we are always trying to fill. Often, we attempt to fill this void through external means, and this is where we become caught up. These patterns are not only our own. When we look within families, we can see similar wounds and stories repeating across generations. This is where I was caught in the story I share today. The same dynamic I experienced with my parents was repeating itself in my friendships. I was trying to repair the past, and while doing so, giving more of myself than I could fill or replenish. I was pouring from my cup into theirs.

 

But eventually, this becomes too much. We crash and hit a wall. Sometimes this happens through physical challenges. We get sick, and our body forces us to rest and retreat from everything we have been doing. Other times, we hit an emotional wall. The pain becomes too great to carry, and we finally seek help.

 

Seeking help can feel difficult because society often teaches us that needing support means we are broken or that something is wrong with us. This could not be further from the truth. Healing is an act of courage. It is an act of love, both for ourselves and for others. Trauma can teach us that love is earned through doing or giving. But true love begins with love of self. From that place, we can give in a heart-centered way and finally receive the love we were seeking all along, independent of others’ behavior, actions, or emotions.

Filling Your Own Cup

My over-giving tendencies did not shift overnight. And if I’m honest, this wasn’t anywhere near the moment that I recognized this unhealthy pattern in my life. It wasn’t until years later in my late 30s that I began to seek out a better way to live my life. And I didn’t recognize that this was a large source of energy drain in my life.

 

As you read this, perhaps parts of my story feel familiar. Maybe you, too, have found yourself over-giving, moving through the same patterns again and again, like tire tracks worn deep into the road. Maybe you are beginning to notice the exhaustion that comes from burning the candle at both ends. This noticing is not a failure. It is the call of your Spirit Within, an invitation to pause, to become aware, and to consider a new direction.

 

For me, the first step was seeking therapy, a safe space to explore my past experiences and release what had been held inside. That step eventually led me to study Shamanism as a path of connection, and shamanic healing as a way to reclaim and reintegrate my true self. Your path may look different, and that is okay. Healing is unique to each individual.

 

Healing does not begin by giving more. It begins by turning inward and listening to what your body and heart have been trying to tell you all along. Learning to fill your own cup first is not selfish. It is an act of courage and self-respect. It is the moment you choose to step out of familiar grooves and begin carving a new path for yourself.

Carving a New Path

Healing is a process of examining your story and gently reweaving it, repatterning the old ways of being. Just like tire tracks shaping a new road, these patterns often begin with a single moment: the decision to choose something new. Over time, as the same route is traveled again and again, the new path becomes easier to traverse. Creating a new route takes intention and patience. At first, it may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. But with time, the new path strengthens, and the old one slowly fades, becoming overgrown as if it were never there at all.

 

So have courage and perseverance. In time, the new path will feel steady beneath your feet. It will become familiar and easy to walk. One day, you may find that you no longer have to think about each step at all.

 

You will move forward guided not by old wounds or patterns, but by your own heart. Seeing each step clearly, navigating your life from a place of self-love rather than fear.

 

Walking this path with you,

Ways To Stay Connected:

Like what you read? I invite you to join my monthly newsletter which you can sign up for HERE.

 

If this story resonated with you and you’d like to continue exploring themes of healing, self-connection, and filling your own cup, you’re welcome to join my newsletter, follow me on TikTok or YouTube.

 

If you feel called to deeper support, you can also learn more about my healing services HERE.

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The Energetics of Fear

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I’ve been here many times before. The familiar walls of this dimly lit house close me in from the dark night sky and the hidden landscape that lies beyond the windowpanes. The maze of rooms twists and turns without end. I don’t know exactly where I am, how I got here, or what I’m doing here, but I can feel a presence. I’m not alone.

 

Footsteps approach as a long shadow slowly stretches across the floor. My body tightens, overtaken by the familiar grip of fear and panic. Run. I must run. But the footsteps follow. Every room I turn to, every threshold I cross, it won’t let up. I try to escape, to outrun the approaching presence, but my legs feel like heavy lead weights, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t move fast enough.

 

This dream has repeated itself in my sleep for many years, always playing out the same way until one night I stopped and turned around. I always ran, and it was always the same. What if this time I chose differently? What if I turned to see what was really following me? If I couldn’t outrun it, I had no choice but to face it. To turn and meet what scared me.

 

This is how fear moves through many of our lives. We try to avoid it, to outrun it, to keep it behind us. But fear is the one thing we cannot outrun. It will follow us until we finally turn to face it, and that’s where true healing begins as we embark on the sacred journey of transforming shadow into light.

Meeting the Fear Within

 

Before I continue into the energetics of fear, I want to share what I saw when I finally turned around in my dream. It is an important part of my story, and it is also a critical piece of understanding how we work with fear. When I turned around, I did not see a monster or some unknown presence looking to harm me. Who I saw was in fact myself.

 

This carries two meanings. First, our fears will follow us until we face them. Second, our fears are not always what they seem. We often see them as something separate from us, when in truth they are parts of us that have taken on a different form. Throughout life, we develop patterns, beliefs, and ways of protecting ourselves from emotional, physical, or mental harm. When this happens, pieces of our true self can become hidden beneath these protective layers, and we begin operating from the mindset or limitations that formed in those moments. Turning around to face ourselves gives us the power to reshape these narratives and return to the light of who we were before we took on those protective identities.

 

How Fear Shows Up in the Body and Energy Field

 

This is why understanding how fear expresses within us is essential. It does not remain only in the mind. It settles and imprints itself into the body and energy field, often in subtle, subconscious ways we don’t always recognize.

 

What sensations arise in your body when you feel fear? Take a moment to notice which ones feel familiar: tightening in the chest or stomach, knots in the belly, heaviness on the shoulders, reduced range of motion in the neck or upper body, shallow breathing, holding the breath without realizing it, a racing heartbeat, sweating, heat rising through the chest, neck, or face, trembling hands, or a heavy, lethargic feeling throughout the body. These are all ways the body communicates that something within us feels unsafe.

 

And what about your emotional responses when fear comes up? You may recognize some of these in your own experience: irritability, feeling angry over small things, a short temper, complaining or gossiping as a way to release pressure, overwhelm, not being able to see a way forward, numbness, boredom, a sense of disconnection from yourself, hyper fixation on planning every detail, canceling plans or avoiding social situations, or feeling disappointment or hopeless.

 

This is not a full list of possible responses, but it offers a place to begin noticing your own patterns. Fear is a protective mechanism that places us into a fight, flight, or freeze response. When this survival response activates, the body is not trying to punish us but to protect us. It mobilizes energy to fight, pushes us to run from the threat, or shuts everything down to keep us from feeling overwhelmed. These responses are instinctive and completely natural. The problem is not that they happen, but that we often stay in them long after the threat has passed.

 

As an energy healer, I sense fear as an accumulation within the body. Imagine a main road that runs from the south side of town to the north. A tree has fallen across the road and now there is a blockage. Traffic begins to back up, and cars must be diverted to different routes. But these roads are not built for such heavy volumes, and those pathways begin to slow too. What was once smooth and free flowing now becomes dense and sluggish.

 

Let us then say that no one comes to clear the fallen tree. This new pattern of traffic diversion and backup becomes the new normal. The town adjusts to the slower routes leaving everyone to cope with the new strain and discomfort. This is the same with our bodies and fear. When fear stays unprocessed, we begin to adapt around it both emotionally and physically. This increased effort becomes our new normal, and what life was like before fear, before the tree fell across the road, becomes a distant dream of the past.

 

When we begin to understand how fear arises uniquely within our bodies, emotions, thoughts, and behavioral response patterns, we open the door to forming a deep, trusting relationship with it. We shift from being passive experiencers of life, swept away by external events, to becoming active participants who can meet fear with awareness rather than being controlled by it.

 

Pathway to Freedom

 

So how do we move from fear into freedom, alignment and wholeness? In this photo you will see a stone reading I did to explore that very question. This practice, traditionally called lithomancy, is something I turn to often. I love the energy of stones, and I find that they have a way of offering guidance, clarity, and deep wisdom.

1) The black stone: This is where the fear sits, represented by the small black stone in the picture. Its energy feels heavier, and you will notice that it rests at the bottom. But being at the bottom does not mean it is the worst. This is the entrance to the path that we step onto when we begin healing our inner wounds. In many ways, it is the most important piece, because without this starting point there would be no doorway at all. Many of us linger here, living in a state of inaction. I know I myself did for many years as I was constantly overwhelmed by the weight of fear that I carried. This is where we get caught in the familiar patterns of fight, flight, or freeze that I mentioned earlier.

 

2)The yellow & white stone: This stone represents the action steps we take as we begin to face our fears. Maybe you start meditation, therapy, energy work, running, or some other type of movement. Often it is a combination of more than one thing. It is important to understand that this is never a one size fits all process. What works for one person may not be the right thing for another. There may be some trial and error, especially in the beginning stages when it can be hard to distinguish what is truly me from the distorted perceptions created by our inner wounds. But what matters is that we try, and that we keep trying, and that we don’t give up. A misstep is not a setback. It is still forward movement because it teaches us what does not align with our Spirit, and that knowledge is just as valuable as knowing what does.

 

3) The pink stone: This stone represents our physical and emotional bodies. As we take action and begin facing our fears, this is often where we notice the earliest changes and shifts. Our bodies soften, tension releases, and our emotions begin to rise to the surface to be felt, expressed, and released. Sometimes this stage brings discomfort, not because we are doing something wrong, but because the body is finally letting go of what it has carried for so long. This is where we begin to reconnect with ourselves, our Spirit Within, learning to listen to what our body and emotions have been trying to say all these years.

 

4) Heart shaped stone: Walking a healing path creates more space within the heart and brings a more expansive, attuned connection with the world around us. We begin to see our path with greater clarity, and we also start to see our inner landscape with new understanding. Our intuition becomes more accessible, and we move through our days with a little more ease and lightness. Moments of love and joy begin to replace the moments of fear as we ground more fully into that openhearted state.

 

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action

 

Often when fear arises in the moment, we are not thinking about healing. We are thinking about getting through it. The fight, flight, or freeze responses activate automatically and we do whatever we can to feel safe again. It is important to not judge ourselves for this, and to remember that these reactions are instinctive and part of the human experience. Healing does not mean eliminating these responses, it means learning to meet them with greater understanding.

 

To transform our fear is to step on a path of healing our inner wounds. We open a door to our inner world and our world is forever changed. But to begin, we must see that there is even a door there, to embark on this sacred journey of uncovering our own light within the shadows.

 

Awareness is finally seeing the door…
This is the moment we finally pause. Usually what gets us to finally notice the door is when the discomfort and disruption that our fear response has caused in our life becomes greater than the fear of stepping through the door. We are tired of driving around the tree and the symptoms have become so uncomfortable that we are finally ready to start cleaning it up so life can flow more smoothly once again. We feel that there must be a better way!

 

Acceptance is crossing the threshold…
It is the choice to acknowledge what we are feeling without resistance or judgment. This is the beginning of being honest with ourselves about what we are feeling, accepting what is occurring in our inner world and recognizing how it is affecting our outer world. When we accept what is present, even if it feels uncomfortable, we step into a place of inner power, truth, and accountability. We must accept what we are feeling, and acceptance is not approval. It does not mean we have to like what we are feeling or that it will stay with us forever. It is simply the act of being with ourselves in an honest and compassionate way. Fear is a messenger. Once we accept and receive the message, it no longer has to repeat itself so loudly.

 

Action is walking a healing path…
Once we have seen the door and passed through it, we can choose our next step from a grounded place rather than a reactive one. Action looks different for everyone. It might be taking a deep breath, journaling your feelings, reaching out for support, setting boundaries with friends or family, or returning to the practices that help us reconnect with our Spirit. Even the seemingly smallest of actions can make a big shift. Every small step we take on our healing path builds inner trust, helps shift our energy, and moves us forward on the path of healing.

 

How Healing Fear Creates Clarity and Connection

 

As this inner flow becomes steadier and more spacious, our intuition grows clearer. We feel more connected to our Spirit, and it becomes easier to distinguish between the voice of fear and the voice of truth. We begin to sense what is right for us with greater ease. Choices feel less overwhelming. The guidance within us becomes more accessible and we begin to trust that we’re on the right path.

 

Healing is not a destination. It is a lifelong relationship with ourselves. We cultivate this relationship by getting to know who we are, understanding our patterns, and accepting ourselves at deeper and deeper levels. As we do this, the energetic pathways that once felt blocked or constricted begin to open. With more compassion, love, understanding, and gratitude for the parts of us that once lived in fear, our intuition begins to blossom and our heart begins to expand.

 

My life didn’t transform overnight. I didn’t begin walking a healing path or truly facing my fears until I was 37 years old. It took time, dedication, and most importantly, taking the leap before I felt ready. We often wait for the perfect moment to take a chance or face fear, but this is just another way fear keeps us frozen in our old story. We don’t wait for the road to be built and then walk it. We build the road as we go, because we are the ones creating it.

 

As I continued to face my fears, those small moments began to create space inside me that I didn’t know I was missing. With time, new possibilities started to appear. Becoming a Shamanic Healer and sharing my story publicly were never part of my plans. They unfolded through a leap of faith, the natural outcome of listening to my Spirit and choosing to walk through the doorway that opened.

 

The truth is, we rarely know what is on the other side of the door. We simply walk through and discover it as we go.

 

We all have a choice in our lives. Do we continue to run from the fear that chases us, or do we turn toward ourselves? It is not always an easy path, but the magic that unfolds when we begin to face our fears and uncover the light within the shadows can really change your life in so many wonderful ways. But we don’t really fully understand this until we try.

 

So what is your Soul calling you to do? I invite you to take some time and reflect. What discomfort in your life are you ready to face? I recommend starting small. In one of my videos, I shared a simple technique I used at the beginning of my healing path that helped to ease some of the heavy energies of past wounds. This may be helpful for you on your own path and you can watch it HERE.

 

If it supports you, here is a simple affirmation you can use as you begin to sit with fear in a new way:

 

“I am ready to acknowledge this energy of fear in my life and allow it to move through me. I know that my Spirit Within is guiding me on a path to healing and wholeness, and the road to healing will open up in my life and in my awareness.”

 

May your healing continue to unfold in its own timing, and may you always feel supported by the Spirit within you. Thank you for walking this path with me.

 

Love and blessings,

 

 

Ways to Stay Connected

Follow Along on TikTok and YouTube

I share teachings, reflections, and personal stories on both TikTok and YouTube. If you want more information on today’s blog topic, I share a video on my YouTube channel where I talk more in depth about the steps listed above (Awareness, Acceptance, and Action). You can watch the full video HERE.

 

Individual Healing Session

If you feel ready to explore your healing more deeply, I offer virtual 60-minute Shamanic Healing sessions. In each session, I combine energy healing with intuitive guidance to help you work through your inner blocks and stuck emotional patterns. Afterward, I’ll send you a personalized summary with insights and next steps to help you move forward on your healing path. You can schedule your session through my website HERE.

 

Monthly Newsletter

If you enjoy my writing, I would love to have you in my monthly newsletter community. I share one personal story and reflection each month. You can sign up HERE.

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How I’m Overcoming Fear and Imposter Syndrome as a Shamanic Healer

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Why am I scared to talk about my work as a Shamanic Healer???

This is a question I struggled with for quite a while, and it was a big reason I delayed starting my business. The truth is, I carried a deep, lingering fear of being the odd kid in town. It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when this need to fit in originated, because honestly, it feels like it’s always been there. I remember, even as a young child, cleaning my room without being asked just to gain the approval of the adults around me. In early grade school, I wanted so badly to join the other kids playing make-believe, but instead, I stayed on the swing with another girl because she thought pretending was “dumb,” and I didn’t want her to think the same of me.

For many years, this became my pattern: closing off my heart’s calling so I could blend in. But when we stifle our heart’s calling, we also suppress our inner light.

Where did our light go?

There’s a type of healing in Shamanic practice called Soul Retrieval. In both small moments and big traumatic ones, pieces of our light, our Spirit, can break away and stay safely hidden until we are ready to call them back home within us. This is called soul loss, and it happens when an experience feels too overwhelming to hold, so a part of us steps aside for safety.

A Soul Retrieval is the Shamanic technique used to call these pieces back, but this only happens when the receiver is truly ready. You wouldn’t call back a soul piece before it’s time, just like you wouldn’t plant a seed in soil that hasn’t been tended to first. The ground needs to be properly prepared, weeds removed, compost added, and the season must be right, or the seed won’t take root. In the same way, our Spirit needs care and support in order for that part of us to return and stay.

But who would go watch a movie or read a book with an uneventful plot? Every story needs a beginning, a middle, and an end, and every hero faces challenges that lead to growth. Your life is that story, and you are the hero of your own unique, sacred journey. The moments of soul loss you’ve experienced are part of your plot, written perfectly for your Spirit’s growth, and each step on your healing path helps you face these challenges and reclaim your inner light.

To me, living a life here on Earth is a funny thing. Many people in the spiritual community agree that we come here with a plan and a purpose, but we also agree to forget about that plan and purpose so that we can find our way back to it. I have a very clear memory from when I was in kindergarten, walking alone down the hall to the bathroom. I remember a moment while I was sitting on the toilet and suddenly thinking, What am I doing here? Not in the sense of what am I doing sitting on this toilet, but in my life. How did I get here, and what’s my purpose of being here? Needless to say, I did not get an answer at that moment. The time was not right, and I was not ready to fulfill my destiny at the ripe old age of five.

Stepping onto a Shamanic path was the part in my own story where I began to call back my light. It marked the start of a deep healing process, and little by little, I began to retrieve the parts of my soul that had flown away. All of those times I dimmed my light around others were the very pieces I started to reclaim. This did not happen for me until later in my life, in my late 30’s. There’s a part of me that wishes I could go back and shake my younger self and tell her “Get yourself together!” But in my heart, I know that the soil was not prepped and ready yet.

The Fear that Steers Us

This now brings me to the very title of this blog post: Why am I scared to talk about my work as a Shamanic Healer? It turns out, I am probably not alone in this. This is something that many other healers, spiritual entrepreneurs, and creatives experience, especially when in the realm of things that one can’t tangibly see or hold with their hands.

This fear is often called imposter syndrome. It is the voice inside your head telling you that you’re not good enough, not qualified enough, making you wonder who in the world would even seek out your services. This is a heavy burden to bear, and the fear causes us to close off our hearts. Fear is an emotion, and emotions are here for a reason. They always guide us to the places calling for our healing. We have two choices: do we stifle, ignore, or suppress them? Or do we embrace the fear and move forward on the path together?

As I began speaking up about this new path I was walking, all of this fear came knocking on my door to remind me that it was still there, waiting for me to face it. Me…I chose the avoidance option at first!

When people asked about my Shamanic healing, I could instantly feel my stomach clench, my heart rate increase, my breath grow shallow, and heat rise to my head. My first reaction was avoidance. I would breeze past the topic, change the conversation, or suddenly find something I just had to do right that second so I could retreat without fully feeling what was coming up. Classic avoidance.

Conversations would usually go a little something like this:

Other: “What kind of business are you starting?”

Me: “I’m a Shamanic Healer. I provide energy healing and intuitive guidance to help support people with their healing and spiritual growth.”

Other: “How do you do that?”

Me: “Well, I work with Spirit Guides from the non-physical realm and bridge through energetic healing.”

Other: “Interesting…”

In other words, invisible work with invisible helpers from non-physical reality. Sounds a little crazy, right?

Avoidance has its limits, and I eventually began to realize that this was certainly no way to live. I would never meet my goal of changing my career and life direction if I kept up with the same avoidance tactic. Fear was simply trying to get my attention, and I was ignoring it over and over again. When we don’t face our emotions, we dishonor them, and we miss the sacred guidance and message they offer. And how could I dishonor something I truly love and believe in by continuing to avoid it? The truth is, it wasn’t really about what I was doing. It was about me, and the internal fears I still hadn’t faced.

Selling the Invisible

Not long ago, I went to dinner with a friend who asked me to explain my work, what it is that I do, and how I knew I was meant to do this. We talked about my path, the intuitive nudges along the way, the healing I had done, and the ways I now support others through their own transformation.

At one point in the conversation, she remarked how it all seemed very abstract and so different from selling something physical, like an item you can hold in your hand or see with your eyes. What’s funny is, this was something I had often said to my husband. Life would be easier if I was just selling ice cream! You know what you’re buying, you can experience it in the moment, and most people are familiar with the product.

So why would my path lead me here, to a place where I’m offering something that can’t be packaged, displayed, or even easily explained? Something seemingly invisible at first glance?

Life is fleeting. And the deeper truth is that we take nothing with us when we pass on. None of our belongings, none of the plants or animals around us, not even the food. What remains and carries with us when we leave this Earth is our Spirit. So in reality, the service I offer is the most real and tangible of all. Our Spirit is eternal, so tending to our soul’s evolution and truly remembering our own light becomes the most sacred, long-lasting gift we can give ourselves. Every piece of our light we call back, every moment of soul retrieval, brings us closer to that remembrance.

The work I do might be invisible to the eye, but not to the Spirit. When a piece of our soul returns, it may not be something we can hold in our hands like ice cream, but we feel it deeply, and it changes us in ways that can be hard to describe with words. Over time, the effects of that inner change begin to show outwardly. Life starts to feel different, and we start to feel different as we move through our day to day. We begin to navigate life with more clarity, ease, and naturalness.

The work I do brings people back to themselves, to their own light, to the parts they thought were lost or broken or forgotten. And that is more real than anything I could ever sell on a shelf.

Walking With Fear on Our Hero’s Journey

I didn’t get over my fear of talking about my work overnight. In fact, there are still moments in conversation where I feel the fear rising again. I’m still playing out my own hero’s journey, and I imagine likewise you are too.

But we don’t get to fast-forward to the final chapter. Moving through fear is the sacred middle part of the story, where the burden can feel immense, and our healing and growth can be challenging and uncomfortable at times. Yet as we move forward, despite the fear, we begin to gain a clearer view of the land ahead. This is the next part of our journey, where we walk through life with greater ease and begin to serve others with our healing gifts. Change happens within us first, and from there it emanates outward through the gifts we offer in service to the world. This is also the true meaning of stepping into our purpose: reclaiming our light, finding our voice, and remembering our Spirit Within.

Remember, all great stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. The story that is you is a truly unique and special one. Never before has there been someone exactly like you, and there never will be again. While we may have the same fear or the same struggle, how you move through them will guide others in ways only you can.

So let’s walk hand in hand with fear, not as a foe, but as a friend on the path to remembering our Spirit Within. May we all find the courage to share our light with the world.

 

Blessings on your journey,

P.S. If this post resonated with you, I’d love to stay in touch.

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Cassie Mendez

Answering the Call to Heal

How do we know when we’re being called to something deeper?
What prompts someone to step onto a path of healing?Photo of Cassie

This call doesn’t always come gently. Often, it arrives through a crisis, or a moment when life as we’ve known it begins to unravel. Like waking from a dream that once felt real, there can be a moment of disorientation or a sense that something has shifted, and life no longer feels the same.

What once seemed solid or certain may start to feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. And though that can feel uncertain or even painful, it’s often the beginning of a deeper calling. This is a quiet invitation from your Spirit Within to take the brave leap toward re-remembering yourself and your purpose. This is the start of what is often referred to as the Hero’s Journey. This is a sacred path of healing, awakening, and returning to who you truly are beneath the layers life has placed upon you.

In every hero’s story, the journey begins with a call to adventure: a disruption, a crisis, a quiet knowing that something must change. In our own lives, this might look like grief, illness, emotional pain, or simply a sense that something isn’t quite right. To answer the call is to step into the unknown and onto a path that can feel dark, disorienting, and unfamiliar. It takes great courage to say yes, but when we do, we often find we are never truly alone.

There are always signposts. Helpers. Guides. Moments of clarity and synchronicity that remind us: you are on the right path, even when you can’t yet see the destination.

And as the journey unfolds, something within begins to shift as pain is slowly transmuted into love, wisdom, and light.

If you’ve found your way here, perhaps something deep within you is stirring. Perhaps you are carrying pain that others can’t see. Or maybe your emotions feel heavy, confusing, or simply too much to carry alone. Know that you don’t have to walk this path alone.

Healing is not about fixing what is broken, but about coming home to your Spirit. The eternal part of you that has always known the way. When we begin to answer the call, the journey doesn’t always look the way we expect. Healing is not a straight line.  It’s more like a spiral, and I often liken it to peeling back the layers of an onion. And as those layers fall away, we begin to see how we were once living in a version of life shaped by fear, conditioning, or survival.  

It may have felt like truth at the time, but as we step onto our healing path, we start to realize that not everything was as it seemed. Deeper truths begin to reveal themselves.  And with each layer peeled away, we gain greater awareness, deeper intuition, and greater connection to our true self. Slowly, our Spirit Within begins to reawaken as we remember who we truly are beneath it all.

Many of us have been taught to suppress or ignore our emotions, or to hide our pain. Emotions can feel uncomfortable, even overwhelming. But they are not a weakness. Emotions are the language of the spirit, lighting the way for our deepest healing. 

True healing begins when we stop running from our emotions and start meeting them with presence, love, and compassion. We begin to feel. To listen. To honor the sacred messages they carry. Perhaps anger is pointing to a boundary that was never honored…maybe you said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”. Maybe grief is asking you to feel a loss or an unmet need. Or anxiety may be the voice of a part of you that feels unsafe.

When we turn inward and begin to listen…really listen…things begin to shift. Your awareness becomes a light that illuminates what’s been hidden. And in that light, the weight of your emotions can begin to lift, making space for the radiance of your Spirit Within to shine through.

This is the call:
To love yourself, even if you’ve never felt fully loved.
To offer yourself the compassion you may never have received from others.
To become the source of the love you’ve always deserved.

This is the sacred alchemy of healing. We don’t suppress the pain…we embrace it! And through that embrace, the gift begins to rise. And this is the work I feel called to support you in: To help you reconnect with your Spirit Within. To walk beside you as you embark on your own hero’s journey, as you release what no longer serves, and reclaim the light that has always resided within you.

The universe is not random, and perhaps you were guided here because something within you is calling. If these words have resonated with you, if something inside you feels stirred or seen, know that this, too, is part of the journey.

It doesn’t matter when we begin. What matters is that we take the first steps.

I invite you to continue exploring this space. You’ll find free resources and videos filled with wisdom, guidance, and healing on my social media channels. (TikTok & YouTube)

And if you feel called to journey deeper in a one-to-one healing session, I would be honored to walk beside you and hold space for your sacred healing path.

Until then…

May you trust the whispers of your Spirit Within, and may you walk this path with courage and compassion, guided by the light that has always been yours.

Much love and many blessings,

 

 

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