“The Tortoise and The Hare” is a classic parable I think we’ve all heard told at some point in our lives.  The race begins, and the rabbit is confident he will win the race against the slow turtle. He runs ahead and eventually decides he has time to take a quick nap. The turtle keeps on, slow but steady. Eventually, the turtle passes the rabbit and to the surprise of all, wins the race.

But is this really a surprise?

 

Back in My Day…

 

In today’s day and age, quick and convenient seem to be the way of life. So much change has happened even from when I was little. We now have phones that are essentially computers that we carry everywhere with us. I remember when I was younger that the only computer available was the clunky desktop computer, and if I wanted to use it, I would turn it on and go do something else because it would take about 10 minutes to start up!

 

A couple weeks ago, my 7-year-old daughter said to me “Mom, did you know that there used to be phones that had a curly string coming out of them?!” Imagine her surprise when I said “Yes…I used to use those phones when I was your age”.

 

I often crave this way of life…slower, more intentional, less distractions.

 

We have many distractions on our path of healing and spiritual growth. Everyday life can become a string of unconscious actions that we weave together. We’re moving so quickly through life that we can’t perceive the subtle energy shifts, the incompatibility, the discomfort.

 

When Life Forced Me to Slow Down

 

When my life slowed down earlier this year, both due to my own career change and then the loss of my husband’s job, I became acutely aware of one unconscious action in particular: eating out. I was putting my money into convenience food rather than saving the money by cooking at home. It was usually fast food, low in nutrition, and I felt that in my body after I ate it: slow and sluggish.

 

But this was just the tip of the iceberg, and I could feel a deeper wound beginning to surface. My justifications were many: I’m too tired to cook, it’s been a long week and we deserve a treat, the kids have activities and there’s no time to cook.

 

But necessity forced me to take a hard look at what lay beneath this pattern. With less income coming in, the change had to be made. But the truth is that any bad habit, when we stop without examining the root cause, can easily be replaced by another.

 

Eating out was one of the coping mechanisms I used to numb my emotions and fill an empty void within me. But where was it coming from??

 

My Late ADHD Diagnosis

 

One thing that was also going on at this time was that I was getting an ADHD evaluation for my daughter. As I was doing research, some light bulbs began to go off in my own head, and I realized that this all sounded very familiar. I was reading my own experience in the words before me.

 

In January I was diagnosed with ADHD. I am not saying this as an excuse for my behavior. What this diagnosis did was to help me understand myself more deeply. It helped me become more aware of habits that can come from ADHD, and to catch myself when I saw myself falling into them.

 

Because I was undiagnosed for so long, I had formed poor coping habits to adapt in a world that I didn’t always feel I fit into. Now that I had words for my experience, I could pause, become aware of my internal patterns, and begin forming new, healthier, and aligned habits that supported me.

 

There’s a lot of emotions that come with an ADHD diagnosis for most people I imagine. Especially when you have spent many years struggling in life and thinking something is wrong with you, wondering why you can’t just do things like other people. This was true for me as well. My late ADHD diagnosis helped me begin to recognize and process things in my life that were causing me a lot of pain and self-criticism.

 

The eating out was one of the ways I was easing the pain of feeling a bit lost in a world that I didn’t always fit into.

 

Emotional Healing and Learning to Go Within

 

It is important to honor the emotions that want to express through us. Our past holds an emotional charge, and as long as we stifle down these feelings, they will fill us up inside and allow little space for more resonant energies. We must clear the old before welcoming the new. Energetically, this is how we get locked into patterns, or eventually they reflect as health issues within our life.

 

So this is the direction I focused on for my healing. I did my best to go within…and when I had the urge to eat out, I would invite the emotion to the surface. I would call it forward, and be there for the part of me that felt isolated and left out and unsure of how I fit in society.

 

It was difficult…it was painful…it was embarrassing…it was uncomfortable…it was shameful…

 

But I was creating space within myself and carving out a new story. Because I knew that on the other side of this was greater love, acceptance, gratitude, and understanding.

 

It is now May, and I have not purchased takeout since January. To be honest, I don’t even crave it or miss it anymore. As painful as feeling our emotions can be, being caught in the repeating cycle of misaligned energy for so many years is even more painful.

 

When I would feel the pull to order takeout, this was always accompanied by a sensation of heaviness in my body, like I was being weighed down. I would feel a pulling in my chest to ease this heavy sensation. The habit would temporarily relieve the sensation, and then the cycle would begin anew. This is taxing to both body and Spirit.

 

Choosing the Tortoise Path

 

The story of the tortoise and the hare isn’t just about speed. What’s special about the turtle is that it’s ok to take your time, to take in the scenery as we go through life, because every moment of our lives is significant. Every step matters. Even the ones where we feel like we’re losing or not good enough. Life honors both equally.

 

Winning doesn’t mean finishing first. We only win or lose if we define success through comparison. It is hard changing careers mid-life, and sometimes I catch myself thinking “If only I had done this sooner.” But then again…who am I actually racing?

 

I recently went with my daughter on a field trip to the zoo, where she had done research on snapping turtles for a presentation. One of the facts she was especially excited to share was that turtles can breathe out of their butts.

 

I was genuinely surprised to learn this. It sounded so strange at first, especially since they clearly have nostrils. It made me think how life is not always what it seems on the surface, and in many ways our inner world is the same. What appears so simple from the outside often conceals deep complexities beneath.

 

For over twenty years I was locked in this pattern, trying the same fix and expecting different results, unwilling to see below the surface level. I didn’t open myself to understand what was driving it internally. The ADHD diagnosis was the catalyst for change for me, but we always have the choice. I could have easily continued to justify my behavior and used my ADHD as an excuse to continue the pattern. But I know from experience that although the pain would leave quickly, it was only temporary. That’s the hare’s path, and I knew it was time to choose the path of the tortoise.

 

The turtle directs us inward, so that step by step we may overcome any challenge in our life. Turtle also reminds us that the obvious way is not always the most efficient. Likewise, there is no such thing as being behind. Turtle reminds us that we are all exactly where we need to be in this very moment in time.

 

Within five short months this craving was completely gone from my life. When we slow down and go within rather than push through or numb the pain, we actually move through things faster. It becomes as though we have found a wormhole in the great matrix of life.

 

So I invite you to slow down, pause, and journey below the surface. Embrace your emotions and open yourself up to life’s possibilities. Trust that the universe will bring you what you need even if you can’t quite see the finish line. Because our Spirit Within is always patiently waiting for us to slow down and listen.

Much love and many blessings,

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