In the Deepest Winter, the Light Always Returns

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Winter Solstice Reflections for December 2025.

In life, none of us are immune to change. In the age of social media, life often feels filtered, leaving us with the perception that life is easy for some, yet a struggle for ourselves. I like to think that even all the enlightened masters, both past and present, also had their struggles and felt things very deeply just as we do. If you are going through change in your own life, I want you to know that you are not alone. As you read my story, know that I am with you, and we are navigating the currents of change together.

It is December, and the winter solstice is slowly closing in. We are entering the depth of winter, the time when the darkness is at its fullest. I feel this deeply this year. As some of you may know from my previous writings, I stepped away from my job as an oncology nurse last month. It was bittersweet. I left behind colleagues who had become dear friends, yet I was excited about the future and the work I feel called to pursue.

Facing Fear and Life Changes

I feel it now as this past chapter of my life drifts farther into memory. The darkness outside mirrors the darkness within, and the shadow of fear that had been resting quietly is beginning to stir. I feel its familiar heaviness, like lead weights wrapped around my ankles that try to keep me in one place.

 

“Aaah, fear my old friend. How have you been?”

 

As the nights grow longer, the words of fear grow louder in my mind. Am I good enough? Am I skilled enough? Who am I to do this kind of work? When will the universe step in to support this leap of faith? And with these questions come the emotions: fear, sadness, doubt, and insecurity. Even after years of healing, self-inquiry, and spiritual seeking, I am still faced with the challenge of meeting my shadows without getting absorbed into them.

 

Then last week, life suddenly shifted again. My husband received notice that he is being laid off after thirteen years with his company. With the financial challenges this year has brought, the company is restructuring and cutting positions, and his is one of them. It means the loss of the steady income that has been supporting us through my job transition, as well as the loss of our health insurance.

 

My first reactions were anger, frustration, fear, sadness. How could they do this? Why are they prioritizing money over people? How are we going to get through this?

 

I am not sharing this for sympathy or reassurance. I share this because I know there are many others out there who are struggling through unexpected changes in their own lives. Others who wade in the waters of self-doubt.

 

“Am I on the right path? Am I walking in the right direction in life?”

 

Sometimes change arrives gradually. Other times, like what my family and I are experiencing at the moment, this shift is thrust upon us without warning through no fault of our own. When change arises, often we feel the sudden urge to create a safe landing spot in hopes that it will soften the fall.

Turning Inward

So how does one move through times of deep emotions? Do we become a victim of our emotions and circumstances? Do we give into the fear, or do we listen to the call of our heart urging us to keep going?

 

The path through is within. We go inward. We meet what rises. We sift through old beliefs, old fears, and old wounds that return to the surface when life shakes our once stable foundation. Winter solstice is but a moment of change in the Earth’s own cycle. And like the Earth, we too move through our own inner seasons. Mother Earth reminds us that darkness does not last forever. Change and trials, both in the world and within ourselves, are part of the human experience. When we turn toward the shadow with awareness, we create space for light. That light is intuition, guidance, connection, deep knowing. It is the inner wisdom that lives within all of us, our Spirit Within, which so often becomes hidden beneath the looming shadow of fear or worry.

 

We are the bringers of our light. We do not need to wait for the sun to shine brighter. We can choose to kindle our own inner light with the words we speak to both ourselves and others, the actions we take, the care we offer to our environment, and the gratitude we hold for what is still good in our lives.

Summoning Light in the Darkness

This morning as I write this was a struggle. A wave of despair and hopelessness settled over me, and I had trouble finding motivation. I still have deadlines for my business, including writing this very blog and newsletter, yet I could feel the hesitation. That primal freeze response was trying to keep me locked in a state of inaction.

 

But this is how we bring light to the darkness. We do not wait for the fear to leave. We keep moving forward despite the fear. Sometimes we want to stay in bed because sadness feels overwhelming, yet we know we have things to do. We summon our strength and choose to rise, even if only for a little while. For me, doubt surfaces, yet I choose to share my story anyway, whether through writing or video. When I feel overwhelmed and my instinct leans toward impatience, I choose kindness instead of frustration. Not always of course, but I do my best.

 

Step by step, we summon our light with strength and determination. As we take these small steps, our inner light grows, little by little. Subtle shifts over time may be imperceptible in the day-to-day, but the magic of small steps is that eventually, just as the Earth moves in tiny increments away from the darkness, we too will soon find ourselves in the vibrant awakening of spring, when the light outshines the darkness.

What little thing can you do today to bring light to your own life?

The Power of Sharing Our Stories

Sometimes we fear sharing our story because we fear judgment or criticism. We worry how others will perceive us. But I am learning that when we hold our story inside, we hold back our light.

 

Locking away our emotions also locks away possibility, hope, and freedom. They occupy space in the heart that could instead be filled with love, joy, understanding, and peace. Humans have always connected through story, stretching back to ancient times. Stories speak to something within us that goes beyond the thinking mind. By sharing our story, we give others a chance to recognize something within themselves. Their strength, their resilience, their determination. Qualities that may feel out of reach in the midst of their own challenges.

 

Sharing our heart is not only healing for us. When someone shares their story, it becomes a moment of connection between one heart and another. Perhaps something is stirred within them, an echo of familiarity and understanding as they see their own journey reflected in another’s experience. It is this connection that can help someone begin to recognize their own strength, resilience, and inner light, even in moments when they feel unable to access it.

 

This year has felt like a shedding. In Chinese astrology, it is the year of the snake. A snake sheds its skin because it has outgrown it. To grow to its fullest potential, it must release what no longer fits. Life also calls on us to shed what we have outgrown. Sometimes this shedding happens through choice, as with my decision to leave my old job that no longer felt like the right fit. Or, as in my husband’s case with his layoff, sometimes it is forced upon us.

 

This next year is the year of the horse. To me, the horse carries the energy of the fast and the furious. This can be swift change and unexpected surprises. The horse itself a majestic creature. Strong yet gentle, grounded to the earth yet unbridled in Spirit. Horse spirit energy reminds us that we have the strength to overcome obstacles and create for ourselves a life of unrestrained freedom.

 

As the darkness of the winter solstice draws near, let us begin to tap into our inner power. Let us release our inner stories, hold space for whatever emotions are calling to be expressed, and shed the burden that fear tries to place upon us. Let us face our obstacles one step at a time and choose to shine our light. And as we do, may we remember that even in the deepest winter, the light always returns.

 

And remember this truth: the depth to which you feel these heavy emotions is also the potential to which you may feel love. So, hold that in your heart in the moments when life feels overwhelming.

 

Wishing you many blessings in the New Year, and may the light within your heart guide you on your path.

 

With love and gratitude,

 

WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED:

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Change Blog Picture

How to Move Through Change

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In both our healing path and in life, endings always carry the seeds of new beginnings.

Change Blog PictureThis month has me reflecting on change and transition. I’m moving through this myself, as I feel my first career as an oncology nurse coming to a close and step more fully into this next chapter as a Shamanic Healer, growing The Spirit Within. I’ve noticed similar shifts happening all around me with friends, family, and clients. Whether it is job changes, moves, shifting friendships, or changes in health, there’s a lot of transition. Big changes may mark the end of something familiar, but they also open the door to something new. They create space for fresh potential to emerge in our lives.

A Leap Into the Unknown

I shared this story in my newsletter this month, and I want to share it here as well.

Years ago, my husband and I made a big leap when we moved from New York to North Carolina. It was a time of emotional upheaval. My grandmother had just passed, I had just finished graduate school, and my husband was still without work after two years. We didn’t have jobs lined up, but my mom was already in North Carolina. So we packed up and went south, trusting that things would fall into place for us.

I sent out applications and waited for the calls. Would everything work out? Would I find a job I liked? I didn’t know. Leaping into the unknown and trusting that things would come together was new territory for me.

Eventually, I got a call from a hospital about two hours from my mom’s house. I was thrilled, though I honestly wasn’t sure what I had applied for. A coworker in New York had encouraged me to look at oncology jobs at this particular hospital as she had worked there before, so I did, still unsure of what to expect.

The interview went well. And as I was leaving the hospital, the nurse recruiter ran after me shouting: “Wait a minute! There’s another unit that wants to interview you. Could you come back at 2:00?”

I felt this jolt of excitement. That deep inner sense that a door was opening. It was the kind of moment that feels like a turning point, when you sense that life is about to shift. One chapter was closing, and something new was beginning to unfold.

As fate would have it, that second interview led to the job I ended up taking.

Both units offered me a position, but I knew in my heart which one was right. That role changed my life. It was challenging, but I learned so much, cared for amazing patients, and met coworkers who became dear friends.

Guidance from My Spirit Guides

Now, 14 years later, I can look back on that time with a different perspective. Back then, I felt overwhelmed with worry, anxiety, and grief. No one can really know what the future holds, but what we can choose is how we show up for ourselves in this now moment. How do we handle ourselves in transition? What choice can I make today that supports my next step?

So today I sat with my Spirit Guides to help get clarity and insight. And I wanted to share what came through with you all today.

They gave me the image of a game of tug of war. People pulling on each end of the rope, creating tension until one side finally gives way. If any of you have ever played this in your school days, you know it doesn’t usually end gracefully!

This image represented the tension we can feel during times of change. That internal push and pull…the fear and uncertainty…the longing to know what’s ahead, mixed with the resistance to let go of what’s behind. But someone has to drop the rope, and we each have the power to decide whether we want to keep playing that game.

So how do we drop the rope? What does that look like? My Guides gave me two words: Redirect and Recognize.

Redirect

Let’s talk about redirection first. When we’re feeling stressed or anxious, especially during change, our minds often loop through the same thoughts. “Am I doing the right thing?” “What if this doesn’t work out?” These repetitive ‘I’ or ‘me’ thought tend to center around fear and doubt. Energetically, they create a heaviness within us and can block the natural flow of our intuition.

So how do we step out of that loop? There are many tools, and everyone is different, but what my Guides offered this time was creative endeavors. Painting, writing, drawing, dancing. When we’re stuck in our heads, the mental tension can create roadblocks that make it harder for intuition to come through clearly. But when we engage in creativity, we shift into a higher energy. This helps open the channel for insight to arise. Redirecting our energy in this way is like preparing the soil. It creates the right environment for intuition, guidance, and healing to take root.

Recognize

What role does recognition play within change? Once we’ve quieted the mental noise, we’re more likely to notice what’s truly going on beneath the surface. This could be a memory, a limiting belief, or a moment of clarity rising into awareness. That awareness can serve as a guiding light on our healing path.

Maybe the fear we feel is connected to a past experience. Maybe something within us is asking to be seen and healed. Fear, in this way, becomes a sacred messenger. It’s not something to ignore or push away. It’s something to sit with, honor, and embrace. I see this as an act of self-love. It’s like parenting the scared parts of ourselves, offering comfort and compassion instead of saying “There’s nothing to cry about” or “Just get over it.” When we meet fear in this way, we begin to transform and heal from within. And over time, we find that we can move through changes in our external world with more compassion, more love, and with greater ease and grace.

So how am I moving through change now compared to 14 years ago? It’s still scary. I still have fear. But it’s not paralyzing. I love myself a bit more to help myself get through it. I have better tools and skills that I have acquired through doing my own healing over the years. And this makes all the difference!

So how am I moving through change now compared to 14 years ago? It’s still scary. I still feel fear. But it’s no longer paralyzing. I love myself a little more now, enough to help myself move through it with care. I have tools and practices that I didn’t have back then, skills I’ve gained through doing my own healing over the years. And that has made all the difference.

Change may never feel easy, but it doesn’t have to feel impossible. With compassion, self-awareness, and a willingness to trust the process, we can move through transitions in a more grounded and empowered way.

May you meet your own changes with gentleness. And may you always remember that within every ending, there is the beautiful beginning of something new.

Sending you love through times of change,

More Support for Your Journey Through Change

If you’re looking for more guidance and support as you navigate your own transitions, here are some offerings to help you reconnect with your inner wisdom:

  • Free eBook: How to Connect With Your Spirit Guides
    In this book, I share what Spirit Guides are (and what they are not), how to connect with them, and the many ways we can receive their guidance.
  • YouTube Video: From Seed to Tree: A Guided Shamanic Journey of Transformation & Awakening
    Nature often mirrors the path we all walk. In this guided journey, we follow the transformation of a peach tree from seed to tree, offering insight and reflection for your own growth.
  • One-to-One Healing Sessions
    Personalized support to help you clear energetic blocks, receive spiritual insight, and move through life’s changes with greater clarity and grace.

 

 

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