The Hollow Bone

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What does it mean to be a hollow bone? This term is often associated with Shamanic traditions, particularly Native American teachings, and describes how a healer must refine themselves and dissolve the ego in order to become a clear channel through which Spirit can move.

 

But for me, this concept extends beyond the role of the healer. We all hold space in the world, and we all bring our own unique gifts and healing medicine, whether it be through working with people, animals, plants, technology, finance, to name a few. We also bring this through our everyday interactions with friends, loved ones, and strangers. There are endless ways that each of us serves humanity.

 

What does it truly mean to hollow oneself, and what does the journey to doing so look like in our life?

 

In today’s sharing, I want to explore my thoughts on these questions and also share why I believe the journey to becoming a hollow bone is a path for everyone, not just those in a healing role.

 

The Earth as a Mirror

 

When I tune into this question, the image of the Grand Canyon forms in my mind. Carving something out takes time. This majestic rock formation was uplifted through the shifting of the Earth and then slowly carved out by the Colorado River, revealing all the layers of accumulation built over millions of years.

 

The formation process of the Grand Canyon mirrors the same journey every soul takes. There eventually comes a day when our existence as we once knew it is disrupted and we are lifted up, this higher altitude offering a new view of our surroundings. A glitch in our everyday reality breaks the hypnotic monotony of our daily routines.

 

Maybe this arrives through an illness, a near death experience, a drastic life change, or another event that shakes us awake. The moment itself is unique for everyone, but the outcome for all is the same. The pressure of the experience lifts us up and we suddenly perceive something beyond what our logical mind can fully understand. Curiosity and intrigue arise, and we feel a stirring in our hearts. Often called spiritual awakening, this is when the search begins. The search for truth and deeper meaning in our lives… the search for self.

 

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life?

 

This is often when a person begins their healing journey because the search for truth and healing is really one and the same. This is how we hollow ourselves out. We cannot get to the core of who we are without first extracting and examining what lies within. Just as the river washed away the contents of the stone to create the Grand Canyon, we too must breach the surface so that we may reveal all the layers of our own beautiful creation story.

 

Filling Up to Empty Out

 

Once we are lifted up and answer the calling of our heart, it is as though we step into the great mystery of life. We see a flicker of light in the darkness and wonder from where does this light come from? Like the river flowing through the canyon, this acceptance opens the gate for loving and supportive energies to flow through us, guiding us along our path. The journey of healing becomes a journey of revelation as we seek to fully understand and uncover the source of this current.

 

The stirring in my own heart came when I said yes to Shamanic training. I accepted my fate and dove head first into my healing path. When I first heard the term “the hollow bone”, it felt very mysterious and somewhat abstract to me.

 

The society we live in often views the mind as a higher authority than the heart. As such, we tend to seek solutions through doing, fixing, and thinking. Like many others beginning a healing path, I believed this meant filling up with knowledge and skills. I told myself that if I read enough books and learned enough techniques, I could push out old stories, heal myself, and be equipped to help others heal.

 

We must surrender to the current and allow it to carry us where it will. Every part of the process is valid and necessary to deepen our awareness and unveil the mystery in its own way, in its own time. Eventually we learn that a bone is not hollowed by displacing its interior with external matter. It must be carved out from within.

 

Seeking external knowledge, there is nothing wrong with this. It has played a vital role on my own path and I place great value on it. But we seek because we feel something is missing from our lives. What is missing is the connection with our inner light, our Spirit Within. We see this light as something outside of us, and this search for knowledge mirrors the deep wound of separation we feel within ourselves.

 

We try to hollow out the bone by displacing its interior with external matter, just as we try to heal ourselves by filling the void with knowledge and skills.

 

But the canyon was not carved by force. It was carved by surrendering to the water, allowing the river to flow along its natural path. The same is true for our healing. It is not found outside of ourselves. It is a surrendering within. To do so, we must shift from mind to heart, for this is where our inner light resides. Thus begins the next pivotal moment of our awakening process: surrendering to the flow and allowing mind, body, and heart to connect as one.

 

Emptying Out to Fill Up

 

One of the very first books I read on my own healing path was How to Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I read the book eagerly, taking in every word. For those of you unfamiliar, her teachings are all about cultivating self-love. A little over three years later, I found myself feeling called to this book once again, and I was curious why. This work was already “done”, so why would I need to revisit this?

 

Before I share the answer, I want to take a moment to talk about pain. We all carry pain. These are our own unique past wounds and traumas. As humans, we are hardwired to avoid pain. Most people would not willingly stick their hand in a fire and hold it there. Our painful parts are like fire, and when we begin to get close to them, we do all sorts of things to avoid them: distraction, denial, projecting our pain onto others, and even self-sabotage.

 

But the reality is that we must pass through each fire, each wound, each emotion, one by one. We do this by coming face to face with what hurts and bearing witness to all of the layers of pain we carry within us. We allow them to course through our body like a river carving through rock, slowly softening the hardened edges of our being. As we empty out, we create space, allowing our inner light to fill up and take its place.

 

This is the true hollowing of the bone.

 

I soon realized why I was being called to revisit this book. There was a lot of pain in my own childhood, many ways in which I felt unloved and neglected. I could now clearly see how I had been running from the fire. I had checked self-love off as “done” and never looked back. Outwardly, I was loving myself by aligning external aspects of my life with my dreams and goals. But inwardly… I had been neglecting this. There was a disconnect between my outer world and my inner world.

 

This moment called me to come face to face with my inner pain and acknowledge the ways I had been neglecting myself through my words, thoughts, and feelings. I speak more about moving through this in my last blog, and I invite you to read about it HERE.

 

We must feel to heal, and to do this, we must venture within. We must move toward the fire, not away from it. I think this is often why some on a healing path, myself included, can work so hard on healing, change so much in their outer life, yet still feel stuck or unfulfilled.

 

Embrace The Space

 

During my training, I was always told that the healer does not do the healing. We hold space for the client to release. At the time, I did not fully understand what this meant, but now, at my current level of awareness, I see it more clearly.

 

So often the world is filled with chaos, judgment, loneliness, fear, grief, shame, embarrassment, and so much more. It is a kaleidoscope of heavy emotions, and although they can be painful, emotions are also the language of the soul. This is often why clients seek healing. Their soul is crying out, and they are unsure how to move through or even sometimes name what they are feeling.

 

In our current times, we are rarely taught how to turn inward and connect with ourselves as many ancient cultures once did. And so, as healers, we serve as a bridge and a guide, helping others move through this moment in their healing journey while offering tools to support them as they continue forward. But we cannot truly hold space for others if we have not first created space within ourselves.

 

The space we create within ourselves serves two purposes. Firstly, these heavy emotions the client carries need a safe place to land. If we are filled up with our own pain, where will they have room to rest their troubles? We do not take on this energy. Rather, we serve as a bridge between the client and Spirit, with the assistance of our Spirit Guides, helping to filter out what they are ready to release. If a vacuum cleaner is full, it cannot properly clean the carpet.

 

Secondly, with space comes greater clarity and connection to our inner wisdom. When we turn our back on our own pain, we muddy the waters. The guidance that comes through, though well-intentioned, must first pass through a debris field of sorts before being shared with the client. As a result, the message may not reach the client in its original form.

 

To dedicate oneself to becoming a hollow bone is a commitment first and foremost to self. Whether you are a healer or not, you take up space in this world, and there are others waiting for the light you carry to enter their lives and change the course of theirs.

 

It is my belief that we are never truly “done” with our healing. If we are alive here on Earth, there is always more work to be done. When we say we are done, we stifle our own light. How can we possibly place limits on something as infinite as a Soul?

 

We must not fear the fire. We must allow our feelings, no matter how painful, to pass through and carve out our bone, much like the rivers of old carving the Grand Canyon. As we do this, we become better at speaking without projecting, listening without judgment, and viewing fellow travelers with compassion and understanding.

 

To love humanity, we must love all parts of humanity. To love all parts of humanity, we must love all parts of ourselves.

 

So keep healing and keep going within. Because we can always love more deeply and open our hearts more fully. Perhaps one day your unique spark will be the very light someone sees to lift them out of the darkness.

 

Blessings on your path,

 

Let’s Journey Together

1. Healing is a journey we don’t have to walk alone. If you feel called to explore your own path more deeply, I offer personalized sessions to help guide and support you. Learn more about healing services HERE.

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3. You can also join me on YouTube at Wisdom by Candlelight with Cassie, where I share reflections, healing ceremonies, and guidance to support your journey. Visit my channel HERE.

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When the Shadow Meets the Light

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Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Nothing is certain, and change is the most constant thing in our lives, because truly nothing ever stays the same. We are not the same person today as we were yesterday, nor will we be tomorrow.

The last two months have been a time of deep healing for me. Truthfully, much of my life has been spent trying my hardest to avoid change, both in my external landscape and in my internal environment.

Today I want to write about the changes I have been going through on my own healing path the last couple of months. It is a unique dynamic, this interconnectedness between internal and external change. They swim hand in hand through this journey we call life, and when there is tension between them, life becomes tricky, difficult, and strenuous. Like swimming against the current and not seeming to get anywhere.

I recall a time in my late teens at the beach while visiting a friend. The waves were large, and I was maneuvering in the water as they pounded toward the shore one after another. To swim directly into the force of the wave was a losing battle. I kept finding myself caught in the current with no solid footing, swept up and propelled toward the shore beneath the white caps of the wave’s crest. Eventually, I felt the pull of the wave, beckoning me to move in rhythm with it. I planted my feet in the sandy ground at the trough of the wave. As the wave rolled toward me, I would jump in tandem with its incline, my body gently gliding up to meet the peak, then sliding down the back slope of the wave, cradled once again in the shallow valley, feet planted in the sand once more, waiting for the next wave to arrive. We moved in unison, me and the water. No fight, no force, just natural harmony. I stayed in that rhythm for some time, until cold and time told me this was enough.

Through this experience, the ocean was teaching me about trust and flow amidst chaos. The universe has our back, holding us safely through times of transition, both in our lives and in our hearts along our healing path. I have heard this truth many times, but hearing this wisdom is different than feeling the truth of something within our bones.

In November of 2025 I left my job as an Oncology Nurse. This had been my profession for the past 18 years. You can read more details about some fears I had to overcome before taking this leap in my blog post HERE. In my mind, I had created the perfect plan with a clear easy shot forward. My husband had a secure job at John Deere where he has worked for the last almost 13 years and he would support my and our family as I build my business.

Then December 2nd arrived, and my well laid plan came crumbling to the ground. My husband had a meeting with his boss that day and they informed him that he was being laid off from his job. I also share more about this here in this blog post, I won’t rehash the details as I share this part of my story in this blog post HERE. What I want to share in this blog is not the event themselves, but the inner experience that transpired as I moved through this process and what it taught me.

 

Stop, Look & Listen

 

When a train is moving at high speed, there’s a certain momentum that builds, and it takes time to come to a complete stop. Moments of high stress or fear, such as times of change, can set our reactive nature in motion like a high-speed train.

What is our reactive nature? It is our fear response, our fight, flight, or freeze instinct. Our nervous system is triggered in some way, and we have certain habits, thoughts, and emotions that begin to surface. When past wounds and old traumas are still lingering in the shadows of our being, moments like this call them forward.

We often find ourselves stuck in this cycle of change, reactivity, and then trying to push through, avoid, or fix what is happening. We see change as the enemy that must be defeated. We fight the change, and this keeps us locked in pain and suffering.

When my husband told me about losing his job, my reactive nature kicked in full gear. I was crying, upset, thinking the worst, both about our situation and also about myself. Especially about myself. My thoughts quickly spiraled into old, familiar narratives: “I’m not good enough”, “what do I really have to offer to the world”, “who will want me”, “this job won’t be able to support me”.

In this moment, I believed all of this to be true. The world around me was certainly supporting these beliefs, of course it must be true.

One week fell into another, and then another. My whole family got sick at Christmas time, which forced me to slow down. It was exactly what I needed to bring my speeding train to a halt. Life was swooping in to support me when I was having trouble supporting myself.

I began to question those thoughts that were cycling in my mind. What if I saw this change in my life as a partner on my healing path instead of the enemy? How could I glide through change, like rolling with the waves of the ocean, instead of fighting the current when life shifts?

Change can be the guide. Our reaction is the map. And a map is only useful if we take the time to study it.

When we slow down and observe our thoughts and feelings, when we hold space for our emotions and listen for our soul’s wisdom, we begin to cut through the fear. As we soften, small cracks begin to form, allowing the deep wounds we have held in the shadows to step into the light. And from there, healing and transformation begins.

 

The Voice From The Depths

 

I can always tell when I am on the verge of a big shift on my healing path. When we answer the call to change the direction of our lives in a way that aligns with our Spirit rather than fear, as I did when I left my nursing job, our energy begins to shift. It becomes lighter, and certain things of a lower frequency just cannot come with us. They are no longer in alignment with our new energy and must fall away.

Have you ever had a moment when your back is turned and you feel like someone is watching you? You cannot see them, but you sense their gaze. You feel the presence of their energy taking up space in the room. This feeling is accompanied by a sort of pressure, as if I were trying to force a beachball beneath the surface of the water.

This is how it feels for me when something I’ve been holding beneath the surface can no longer be ignored and is ready to fall away. The truth is, I sensed its presence long before my husband lost his job. Even though I could feel it calling to me, I started the train and didn’t look back. Humans don’t like discomfort. We tend to avoid it, sometimes on purpose, more often unconsciously, as I did in these last few months. I thought that if I just got to work, followed my new job tasks day by day, things would proceed at a steady incline and all would be well.

But now, in this moment of forced slow down, I knew I had to face this wound. I set aside time and marked it on my calendar. I would shamanic journey in quiet silence, in darkness, and connect with these painful feelings as they emerged. For me, there’s something about doing this in a darkened room that helps me feel safe. It creates a sort of cocoon, a blanket, making it easier for me to open up to this process of release.

So here I was, my drum, my body, my Spirit, my pain, and the darkness, merging as one. As I settled into the steady beat of the drum, I could feel the sadness begin to stir in the pit of my stomach. There was a familiar tightness clenching the muscles in my abdomen, constricting its way up to my throat. And then the tears came, the flow of healing water streaming down my cheeks. I began to cry out, my voice cracking through the fear and the tight grip it held. It felt almost like a snap, like pulling a string with so much force that it finally breaks. The crack had appeared, and it was then that the message from my inner voice rose from the depths of my pain:

 

“My fear is that I have been left behind so many times in my life that the world has forgotten about me and I won’t be supported or taken care of”

 

This is the wound, and I felt it in every part of my body. I had to allow this part of me to fully express itself. I felt the pain of all the times I was left behind: dropped off at a stranger’s house while my mom was giving birth to my brother; countless childhood summers left with my grandparents for long stretches of time; sent alone to live with my mom’s friend to finish out seventh grade while my family moved out of state; left with my sister while my mom moved to her boyfriend’s house in a different town; arriving home from a study abroad program to find no one at the airport waiting for me; graduating from high school and finding my mom gone, leaving me alone at the post-ceremony celebration; and being dropped off at college, watching all the other students’ parents stay to settle them in while I was left alone.

 

The Light From Within The Shadows

 

I have spent so much of my life navigating the waters of life alone that I didn’t realize there was another way. I was so locked into the cycle of trying to feel safe within the world around me that I believed fighting against the current was simply how life worked. I thought tightening my grip and trying to control every possible outcome was the only way to survive. It never occurred to me that safety might not come from force, but from surrender. This recent healing moment along my path showed me that there is another way to move through life, one that requires me to follow its rhythm rather than resist it, the way I once moved with the waves at the beach.

On the other side of this healing, my body felt lighter in a way I cannot fully explain. The constant undercurrent of worry and anxiety about the future had nearly vanished. I could feel the muscles in my body soften, and my mind felt clear. I was no longer scrambling to try and fix my situation. Within the shadow of this wound lived control, confusion, and constriction. Yet within the light that was now emerging in its place, I could feel something entirely different: strength without control, clarity without needing certainty, and patience that is not attached to the outcome.

I remember one particular moment in the height of my sadness. I sat in the bottom of the shower crying, feeling hopeless and afraid of the future. It was in that moment that an image appeared in my mind’s eye, almost like a scene from a movie playing out. I saw my husband losing his job. But what startled me was not the image itself, but the sudden recognition that I had seen this before. It felt like déjà vu washing over me. Then I sensed the presence of my Spirit Guide and heard the quiet inner knowing: “You knew this moment would come. We showed you this months ago.”

This process was bringing me into sync with the changes in my outer world and the shifts within my inner world. As the outer world changes, our inner world responds. And in turn, as we change our inner world, our outer experience begins to shift to match it. As we heal and connect more deeply with our Spirit Within, our life and everything in it syncs at a higher frequency. It is the alchemical process of turning metal into gold…shadow into light, wound into wisdom, pain into purpose.

Now in retrospect, I can see clearly that this is how my path was meant to unfold. If my husband had lost his job before I left my nursing career, fear would have kept me stuck and wandering far from my path. The shift did not come from circumstances changing. It came from my relationship to them changing.

 

Tending the New Light

 

In the early days of my first shamanic training, after receiving the Munay Ki rites, we were asked to go to a candle and feed the newly shifted energy with light. I used to wonder about the purpose of this. Does it even matter? Now I understand the importance of that seemingly small step.

When we shift from shadow to light, from low frequency to high frequency through healing, it is new to our body. There are still echoes of the past remaining. Old habits built over many years do not disappear overnight. The echo lingers. This is why we must feed the new light within us, to stoke the fire we have just started. If we do not tend to it, it risks fizzling out and we may return to our old ways. We would have to restart the fire.

This phase of the healing cycle in energy work is often called the integration period. We integrate by showing ourselves love, attention, and care as we continue on our healing path. There are many ways to do this: meditation, writing, time in nature, music, art, hobbies, affirmations, resting, eating well, and so many other ways.

After this healing, I understood what my Spirit was asking of me in order to integrate this new light. I had made so much progress in making better choices and putting myself first, but what was missing was self-love at a deeper level. The love I feel for my children, I cannot say I felt that for myself. I had been leaving myself behind in this one important way. I was taking loving action and making loving choices, but I was not loving myself with my heart. I was waiting for all the outside changes I had made in my life to fill the void within me.

The very first book I read when I began my shamanic training and healing path back in 2022 was You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Her message is simple: love yourself first, and healing will follow. So simple, yet one of the most difficult things for many of us to do.

So here I am again, back at the beginning. It is funny how life works sometimes. But this time I am not just reading the words on the page. I am reading the book with my heart, and I am doing the work. For real this time. I am ready. All of the changes leading up to now have prepared the ground for me to love myself. I am lovingly brushing my hair in the evening as I tell myself how loved I am, that I am enough, that I am valued. I am taking time to express gratitude for all the good things in my life, those that are here and those that have yet to appear. I am thankful because I know in my heart that I am supported. The world has not left me behind, and neither will I. I am beginning to feel it, that spark in my chest that lights up the same way it does for my children.

I have always wondered, where do the waves go once they reach the shore? It feels like nature’s magic trick, watching them curl as they reach the shallow waters, crash onto the sand, then slowly recede until they disappear. I suppose they retreat back into themselves, back into the vast ocean, merging again as one.

Perhaps that is our own journey here on earth. Separate waves moving toward the shore, and at the end merging back into oneness, leaving only faint remnants of our time etched in the sand. But even those fade…for in this world, nothing can be said to be certain.

Know that you are loved and you are enough. Wishing you strength and courage on your healing path.

 

All my love,

 

Ways to Connect

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My Cup Runneth Over

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Over-giving can leave us exhausted and disconnected. In this personal story, I share a moment that stands out among many over the years when I struggled with giving too much of myself. Over time, I’ve learned that true connection and self-love begin with filling my own cup.

 

It was the beginning of my third year of nursing school. I had a core group of friends that I spent time with. They were social, outgoing, and liked to party. Honestly, they were everything I was not. I hated large gatherings, I didn’t enjoy drinking, and I didn’t like late nights. I always felt out of place around them, like I was trying to fit myself into a mold that wasn’t quite meant for me. It was always me reaching out to make plans, and that effort was rarely reciprocated. I imagine that if I had left that circle altogether, my phone might never have rung, and one day they would think to themselves, “I wonder what happened to that Cassie girl?”

 

But the fear of searching for new friends felt even scarier than the pain of spending time with people I didn’t fully connect with. Looking back, I recognize how deeply my sense of self-worth was eroded, and how I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I felt terribly lonely almost all the time. The thought “why does no one like me” dominated my inner world.

Me in my college years, before I understood what it meant to fill my own cup.

Physically, this took a toll on my body as well. I never linked the two back then, but now I understand the mind-body-spirit connection more clearly. The constant fatigue, the sensation of heaviness that felt like lead weights, the brain fog and forgetfulness were manifestations of everything I was holding onto. The pain, the trauma, the unprocessed energy, all living in my body with no awareness of how to recognize it, or how to let it go. My body was trying to send me signals.

 

My outside world reflected my inner world: disconnected. When pain is so great, we often retreat and avoid. Focusing on our external environment can be a form of disconnect, a way to avoid what we don’t want to see or feel inside. We engage in a battle to fix the world around us, believing that this is the way to find peace and happiness.

 

Even though I often felt unseen and disconnected, I kept reaching out to the same friends, hoping that with each failed attempt at connection, the next one would be different. When September arrived and I was turning 21, I decided to host a sit-down dinner party at my friends’ apartment. I wanted to set the stage for a special evening, a fancy, intimate dinner where we could dress up and connect in a way that went beyond our usual superficial hangouts. I even had a dress of my own design, sewn by my mom, for the occasion. I told my friends not to worry about the food. I would cook it, plan the menu, and buy all the ingredients.

 

I was going to make it really easy for them to love me. All they had to do was show up and spend time with me. Surely this would be enough? I would be enough…

 

Very soon, both my carefully laid plan and my heart were crushed. They decided they wanted it to be a “two for one” sort of party. It was the start of the school year, and they wanted a big celebration to ring it in. “You don’t mind, right Cassie?”

 

Of course not. How could I say no? At that time, I wasn’t capable of saying no. Saying no felt like giving them permission not to love me. Saying no created distance, and I feared it would make people leave and stop talking to me. And who would I have if I didn’t have them in my life? I would have no one. As alone as I felt, I feared that refusing them would leave me feeling even more isolated.

 

The party was nothing like I had imagined. Dinner was rushed, more of a grab-and-go affair. Once they were done, they went off to get ready for the next gathering. There was no bonding, no well wishes, no real connection.

 

Despite all this, I kept giving of myself, hoping that one day they would see me, recognize me, and care for me in return. I cleaned their house when I visited, took on the role of designated driver on nights out, cooked meals, and helped them pack and move when they relocated.

Recognizing When You’ve Hit an Emotional or Physical Wall

Writing about this still brings up a lot of emotions. I see so clearly a young woman who was simply searching for love. But I was going about it all the wrong way. There was an inner wound that I did not, and probably could not at the time, see or recognize.

 

Looking back, I do not blame my friends for how things unfolded. They were not responsible for my choices or the hurt I experienced. I was the one trying to fill the emptiness inside myself, and I was the one who believed that giving more of myself would earn the love and connection I craved. I imagine that if they reflected on that same moment, they would see it very differently, through the lens of their own wounds, growth, and journey of healing.

 

Past wounds and trauma leave a mark on us. We lose a part of our true essence, the connection to our Spirit Within, as life’s struggles begin to accumulate and weigh on us. In Shamanic terminology, this is called Soul Loss, which I explore in more detail in another blog post HERE. Soul loss leaves a void within us that we are always trying to fill. Often, we attempt to fill this void through external means, and this is where we become caught up. These patterns are not only our own. When we look within families, we can see similar wounds and stories repeating across generations. This is where I was caught in the story I share today. The same dynamic I experienced with my parents was repeating itself in my friendships. I was trying to repair the past, and while doing so, giving more of myself than I could fill or replenish. I was pouring from my cup into theirs.

 

But eventually, this becomes too much. We crash and hit a wall. Sometimes this happens through physical challenges. We get sick, and our body forces us to rest and retreat from everything we have been doing. Other times, we hit an emotional wall. The pain becomes too great to carry, and we finally seek help.

 

Seeking help can feel difficult because society often teaches us that needing support means we are broken or that something is wrong with us. This could not be further from the truth. Healing is an act of courage. It is an act of love, both for ourselves and for others. Trauma can teach us that love is earned through doing or giving. But true love begins with love of self. From that place, we can give in a heart-centered way and finally receive the love we were seeking all along, independent of others’ behavior, actions, or emotions.

Filling Your Own Cup

My over-giving tendencies did not shift overnight. And if I’m honest, this wasn’t anywhere near the moment that I recognized this unhealthy pattern in my life. It wasn’t until years later in my late 30s that I began to seek out a better way to live my life. And I didn’t recognize that this was a large source of energy drain in my life.

 

As you read this, perhaps parts of my story feel familiar. Maybe you, too, have found yourself over-giving, moving through the same patterns again and again, like tire tracks worn deep into the road. Maybe you are beginning to notice the exhaustion that comes from burning the candle at both ends. This noticing is not a failure. It is the call of your Spirit Within, an invitation to pause, to become aware, and to consider a new direction.

 

For me, the first step was seeking therapy, a safe space to explore my past experiences and release what had been held inside. That step eventually led me to study Shamanism as a path of connection, and shamanic healing as a way to reclaim and reintegrate my true self. Your path may look different, and that is okay. Healing is unique to each individual.

 

Healing does not begin by giving more. It begins by turning inward and listening to what your body and heart have been trying to tell you all along. Learning to fill your own cup first is not selfish. It is an act of courage and self-respect. It is the moment you choose to step out of familiar grooves and begin carving a new path for yourself.

Carving a New Path

Healing is a process of examining your story and gently reweaving it, repatterning the old ways of being. Just like tire tracks shaping a new road, these patterns often begin with a single moment: the decision to choose something new. Over time, as the same route is traveled again and again, the new path becomes easier to traverse. Creating a new route takes intention and patience. At first, it may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. But with time, the new path strengthens, and the old one slowly fades, becoming overgrown as if it were never there at all.

 

So have courage and perseverance. In time, the new path will feel steady beneath your feet. It will become familiar and easy to walk. One day, you may find that you no longer have to think about each step at all.

 

You will move forward guided not by old wounds or patterns, but by your own heart. Seeing each step clearly, navigating your life from a place of self-love rather than fear.

 

Walking this path with you,

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In the Deepest Winter, the Light Always Returns

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Winter Solstice Reflections for December 2025.

In life, none of us are immune to change. In the age of social media, life often feels filtered, leaving us with the perception that life is easy for some, yet a struggle for ourselves. I like to think that even all the enlightened masters, both past and present, also had their struggles and felt things very deeply just as we do. If you are going through change in your own life, I want you to know that you are not alone. As you read my story, know that I am with you, and we are navigating the currents of change together.

It is December, and the winter solstice is slowly closing in. We are entering the depth of winter, the time when the darkness is at its fullest. I feel this deeply this year. As some of you may know from my previous writings, I stepped away from my job as an oncology nurse last month. It was bittersweet. I left behind colleagues who had become dear friends, yet I was excited about the future and the work I feel called to pursue.

Facing Fear and Life Changes

I feel it now as this past chapter of my life drifts farther into memory. The darkness outside mirrors the darkness within, and the shadow of fear that had been resting quietly is beginning to stir. I feel its familiar heaviness, like lead weights wrapped around my ankles that try to keep me in one place.

 

“Aaah, fear my old friend. How have you been?”

 

As the nights grow longer, the words of fear grow louder in my mind. Am I good enough? Am I skilled enough? Who am I to do this kind of work? When will the universe step in to support this leap of faith? And with these questions come the emotions: fear, sadness, doubt, and insecurity. Even after years of healing, self-inquiry, and spiritual seeking, I am still faced with the challenge of meeting my shadows without getting absorbed into them.

 

Then last week, life suddenly shifted again. My husband received notice that he is being laid off after thirteen years with his company. With the financial challenges this year has brought, the company is restructuring and cutting positions, and his is one of them. It means the loss of the steady income that has been supporting us through my job transition, as well as the loss of our health insurance.

 

My first reactions were anger, frustration, fear, sadness. How could they do this? Why are they prioritizing money over people? How are we going to get through this?

 

I am not sharing this for sympathy or reassurance. I share this because I know there are many others out there who are struggling through unexpected changes in their own lives. Others who wade in the waters of self-doubt.

 

“Am I on the right path? Am I walking in the right direction in life?”

 

Sometimes change arrives gradually. Other times, like what my family and I are experiencing at the moment, this shift is thrust upon us without warning through no fault of our own. When change arises, often we feel the sudden urge to create a safe landing spot in hopes that it will soften the fall.

Turning Inward

So how does one move through times of deep emotions? Do we become a victim of our emotions and circumstances? Do we give into the fear, or do we listen to the call of our heart urging us to keep going?

 

The path through is within. We go inward. We meet what rises. We sift through old beliefs, old fears, and old wounds that return to the surface when life shakes our once stable foundation. Winter solstice is but a moment of change in the Earth’s own cycle. And like the Earth, we too move through our own inner seasons. Mother Earth reminds us that darkness does not last forever. Change and trials, both in the world and within ourselves, are part of the human experience. When we turn toward the shadow with awareness, we create space for light. That light is intuition, guidance, connection, deep knowing. It is the inner wisdom that lives within all of us, our Spirit Within, which so often becomes hidden beneath the looming shadow of fear or worry.

 

We are the bringers of our light. We do not need to wait for the sun to shine brighter. We can choose to kindle our own inner light with the words we speak to both ourselves and others, the actions we take, the care we offer to our environment, and the gratitude we hold for what is still good in our lives.

Summoning Light in the Darkness

This morning as I write this was a struggle. A wave of despair and hopelessness settled over me, and I had trouble finding motivation. I still have deadlines for my business, including writing this very blog and newsletter, yet I could feel the hesitation. That primal freeze response was trying to keep me locked in a state of inaction.

 

But this is how we bring light to the darkness. We do not wait for the fear to leave. We keep moving forward despite the fear. Sometimes we want to stay in bed because sadness feels overwhelming, yet we know we have things to do. We summon our strength and choose to rise, even if only for a little while. For me, doubt surfaces, yet I choose to share my story anyway, whether through writing or video. When I feel overwhelmed and my instinct leans toward impatience, I choose kindness instead of frustration. Not always of course, but I do my best.

 

Step by step, we summon our light with strength and determination. As we take these small steps, our inner light grows, little by little. Subtle shifts over time may be imperceptible in the day-to-day, but the magic of small steps is that eventually, just as the Earth moves in tiny increments away from the darkness, we too will soon find ourselves in the vibrant awakening of spring, when the light outshines the darkness.

What little thing can you do today to bring light to your own life?

The Power of Sharing Our Stories

Sometimes we fear sharing our story because we fear judgment or criticism. We worry how others will perceive us. But I am learning that when we hold our story inside, we hold back our light.

 

Locking away our emotions also locks away possibility, hope, and freedom. They occupy space in the heart that could instead be filled with love, joy, understanding, and peace. Humans have always connected through story, stretching back to ancient times. Stories speak to something within us that goes beyond the thinking mind. By sharing our story, we give others a chance to recognize something within themselves. Their strength, their resilience, their determination. Qualities that may feel out of reach in the midst of their own challenges.

 

Sharing our heart is not only healing for us. When someone shares their story, it becomes a moment of connection between one heart and another. Perhaps something is stirred within them, an echo of familiarity and understanding as they see their own journey reflected in another’s experience. It is this connection that can help someone begin to recognize their own strength, resilience, and inner light, even in moments when they feel unable to access it.

 

This year has felt like a shedding. In Chinese astrology, it is the year of the snake. A snake sheds its skin because it has outgrown it. To grow to its fullest potential, it must release what no longer fits. Life also calls on us to shed what we have outgrown. Sometimes this shedding happens through choice, as with my decision to leave my old job that no longer felt like the right fit. Or, as in my husband’s case with his layoff, sometimes it is forced upon us.

 

This next year is the year of the horse. To me, the horse carries the energy of the fast and the furious. This can be swift change and unexpected surprises. The horse itself a majestic creature. Strong yet gentle, grounded to the earth yet unbridled in Spirit. Horse spirit energy reminds us that we have the strength to overcome obstacles and create for ourselves a life of unrestrained freedom.

 

As the darkness of the winter solstice draws near, let us begin to tap into our inner power. Let us release our inner stories, hold space for whatever emotions are calling to be expressed, and shed the burden that fear tries to place upon us. Let us face our obstacles one step at a time and choose to shine our light. And as we do, may we remember that even in the deepest winter, the light always returns.

 

And remember this truth: the depth to which you feel these heavy emotions is also the potential to which you may feel love. So, hold that in your heart in the moments when life feels overwhelming.

 

Wishing you many blessings in the New Year, and may the light within your heart guide you on your path.

 

With love and gratitude,

 

WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED:

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If you feel called to go deeper and explore your own fears, blocks, or patterns with personalized support, I offer one-on-one shamanic healing sessions. You can learn more and book a session HERE.

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